Maturity's Immature

[tRiPliCiTy]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=82768
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=83103

Catapulting holding bottled in my stroller, cant
Wait until this is all over but I’m stinging like a cobra,
Sitting in my coaster, rolling into the oven roaster,
Aging pacing now facing money hungry masons,
Stuck in pyramid scheme basins loosing patience,
Chasing the race that’s been missing an adjacent,
In this mathematical unpractical world my face is,
Just another player waiting his replacement I’m hating,
This system’s chronological order I’m crossing over this border,
To the other side of my youth to find the pride in telling the truth,
I’m spelling the root, of the tree so when it grows I’m talking at
The same speed, with a need of an older breed so I can feed,
And when I bleed, the ground would soak up the trail, so society
Will never know if I ever failed, this is a fantasy this maturity
Is mandatory but this isn’t in my category, can the story, start to
Can my glory, understand the fury under hand the theory.

Licking the stamp for this post period shock, of the
Missing Lego block, that popped from the well cropped,
Social jocks, who run this city under their muscle, while
I work my belt buckle, chuckle, while I stumble in the
Tunnel, of darkness surrounded by 1 shred of light, and
I use all my might, to have a slight sight, of this tight right,
And struggle out of my own depression puddle and there’s
Trouble in my perfect bubble, cause the outside world
Wants a taste of this perfection, all the love and affection
Really needs protection from the profession of progression
So join the protesting pro session as we grow stresses and
Throw confessors make em grow missing, the key point in
Unity so you and me can live more peacefully, with out these
Distractions of all these fractions becoming whole contraptions
And all the white lie actions are turning black-n, so they start
Strapping, with a hot lead fetish and the bet is to make the world
Turn reddish, and blush out to melt icebergs, so I use nice words,
Instead of think thrice verbs, don’t blink twice herb, now your
Giving away your weakness and your fatigue is leaking.

[tRiPliCiTy]

wow look at all the replies

[N.D.eva]

seemed to flow ok but it sounded like you were thinkin of words that rhyme and then just fillin, and i couldn't really make out wot it was about,...............

[tRiPliCiTy]

umm hence the title?

[Mistral]

Yeah this was a alright piece, it was a pretty good read, it flowed pretty well through out the piece i thought, your content was good as well, vocab was pretty good, overall it was a good piece, keep dropping.

[LSA]

yo dude dt even diss mee this shit sux u pussy rap about drugs and bitches not stupid shit

[tRiPliCiTy]

wow u have grammer good^^^
school u pass

[Mag...]

Good work with finding a lot of words that rhyme together....

ummm.... i will have to agree with N.D.eva on this one....

give your online dic/thes a rest and write something with a goal in mind....

keep "elevatin"

{Peace}

[G FuNK]

Originally posted by tRiPliCiTy
wow u have grammer good^^^
school u pass

I a's got!
Owns song mine!

[HighDro]

yeyea drop was straiht but u need to elevate alot but good try homie ~1~

[tRiPliCiTy]

lmao ur all fuckin herbs... elivate? did u wankers even read that
go fuckin home with your net text records and cry ur eyes out..
like wow you guys suck penis big time.............................

[fatalidy]

it was str8 4 da most part, ya vocab was decent and chose of words per bar was aight but what's da purpose of spittin a story

[A.T.]

honestly... I read the first verse... didnt bother with the second...,
but in that verse, most of your multies were forced, I can tell, cause I use multies quite a bit in my shit.... it was hard to get the
topic into my head cause all the unnecassary multies... it flowed good though... you placed the rhymes where they need to be,
your structure was good and you had some good wordplay...
just focus on your content a little bit... no hate, I do the same thing every now and again... but try to keep your topic and dont use unnecassary multies.
A.T.

[Da_Renegade]

this verse was nothing but fillers dude, ur just putting random rhyming words picked from out of a book, nothing made sense in this

no hatin but, your multies were forced, you change topic every 4 words..................

[tRiPliCiTy]

ur all fuckin herbs......fillers? wow have u never heard of ppl who write fuckin abstract ur all fuckin herbs get the fuck outta here with ur fuckin wackness