suicidal thoughts? - eddy ft sylentz

[Edicius]

Suicidal thoughts? -

Sylentz

Living a life of misery, I try to compare my thoughts visually
My life is just one big kaotic theory, As my dreams become dreary

My brain becomes weak, Still trying to find happiness I seek
My visions become oblique, Out of my life I try to sneak
Is this life worth living, I seem to be taking but not giving
I am always forgiven, But never seem to be forgiving
And the question, Should i Just end all of this, Is it worth it
When really in this epic world, All ill ever be is just a misfit

I have my oppurtunity to take this now, End my life
But would i be better of out of this world with out my wife
A gun or a knife, Thats all it would take, To make a break
when i know that i couldnt do it,Its in my head, its all Just fake
The world would be a better place, An addition in the human race
I know i could be gone in an instance, Leaving them red in the face
I dont feel welcome here, Is it just me or is it just another fear
Ive been racially abused, And its been getting worse over the year

So mother when your read this, Take it and swollow in your pride
The tide has turned, Take it in your stride, Its their fault i took my life

eddy

this .. that .. death..

i feel it inside, it will happen .. i will cross my own restriction!
afraid for the results of this inner conflicts,
still not prepaired for any contradictions..
this psychologically habit-forming addiction that will once erupt
and profile its self in this weird unceremoniously brusque in my own manner
my system just corrupt ..
its so weird .. this lack of self-sufficiency
..with a strange dependency
just obsessed w/ a constitutional dark tendency ..
.. feeling gloomy and depressed
I confessed ... its pure truth .. i am ..
..influenced & controlled by this powerful force of strong emotions
tears struggling with my thoughts, causing a self esteem demotion
all this commotion resulted in this disorderly outburst ..
an ocean of pain took me under i was ..submersed
and than they say the suicide is painless.. but the pain just drives you suicidal
ending it all with this descriptive final of my personal idyll ..

[Edicius]

replyed too

w~p
&
BTK

[K9_THESHIT]

ill drop guys!good collab,ya'r two drops fited togheter almost perfect.now back to the drop.really liked it,deep thoughts,kinda sinucidle,but nervous-brakedown type too.good vocab painted a good imagery,and olso made emotions and thoughts to really stand out.and what i liked the most is that ya can really feal the emotions reading it,the feelings,the insanity of the mind,it's a hard job to be able to put that in writting,but you pulled it of.and edicius i think some will critic you for your structure,but i know how it's like,a few words are mo prefect then a long line,and really intensifys the emotion,so no critics there:
"my system just corrupt ..
its so weird .. this lack of self-sufficiency
..with a strange dependency
just obsessed w/ a constitutional dark tendency ..
.. feeling gloomy and depressed
I confessed ... its pure truth .. i am .."-really deep fealings...good job!

structure good,so it's flow...

keep up the droppin guys!

and if you have time,please return the feed,Unfufilled Prophecy in my sig.Would really apreciate yar comments.Peace!

[+..Ex-Calibur..+]

Damn, Not a bad peace it felt more of a poetry peace, But it was still hott, Good Looks, Keep Droppin.., Big ups tp both of you..

[Edicius]

[Violent.]

Word

Thanks so far

[Skrollz]

My brain becomes weak, Still trying to find happiness I seek
My visions become oblique, Out of my life I try to sneak
Is this life worth living, I seem to be taking but not giving
I am always forgiven, But never seem to be forgiving
And the question, Should i Just end all of this, Is it worth it
When really in this epic world, All ill ever be is just a misfit


its so weird .. this lack of self-sufficiency
..with a strange dependency
just obsessed w/ a constitutional dark tendency ..
.. feeling gloomy and depressed
I confessed ... its pure truth .. i am ..
..influenced & controlled by this powerful force of strong emotions
tears struggling with my thoughts, causing a self esteem demotion
all this commotion resulted in this disorderly outburst ..
an ocean of pain took me under i was ..submersed



Ive quoted the hottest parts from both of you guys.... ill drop... sylentz u came dope the second verse that ive quoted was dope... eddy im impressed by your verse... shit jus flowed straight.. ur structure is dope as fuck and ur rhyme scheme is sick as hell too... good drop

overalll
8/10


peep my Round Here verse....

[Retarded]

i say over alll.............hmmm

2/10

[Dan Dare]

^ fucktard, what kind of feedback d'you call that?!

Anyway, this was alright. Better than most things I've read in OM recently actually. I really liked your different styles, and the way they gelled. Cool drop, it was interesting to read, was like, sort of describing a personal, inner struggle. This type of writing is always pretty dope.

And Eddy.. I got your PM this morning - if you want to do a collab, sure, get a topic and I'll write something with you. Let me know.

Pz!

[DALC]

The second verse was better.
The first needs better rhymes and vocab,but overall it was alright.

[Violent.]

word

up

['PercepTion']

sylentz
u had some nice internals in here, it seemed a
little basic in some points tho, try to experiment
with your structure n flow a little bit, it did seem
repetative. It was good th0, it flowed smoothly,
u had a nice message and your overall content
was nice. NIcely done.

Edicius
had a more original flow, it came nice. Was smooth,
poetic almost...nice vocab in there as well certainly
upped the complexity. Like the content, good handle
of the subject...took a midly original approach to it.
But you showed good complexity and had some
nice lines...well done!

3.5/5

[Him]

very dope collab both of you came nicely

[Edicius]

thanks for the reply's people, ..

[Violent.]

Keep em coming