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Thread: Asylum...

  1. #1
    Veteran Born To Kill's Avatar
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    Asylum...

    Asylum

    In a prison of prisms, I try ta just listen...
    Cuz visions can glisten with multiple perception.
    Enhancing and romancing the portrayl of reality...
    And financing the chancing to conquer insanity.

    So I keep my presence in the present, eavesdropping...
    Cuz my residence has a regiment for grief stopping.
    Act kind with an open mind, while medication courses...
    In time you'll unwind, as they discover pain's sources.
    Current flows if ya outta control, so remain mellow...
    Upon threshold bladder unfolds, white's stained yellow.

    Oration can bring elation, so I await spoken words...
    With sedation as foundation, they can sound so absurd.
    Mostly comical, often diabolical, but always entertaining...
    It's whimsical and almost protocol, their complaining.
    I don't walk away from, but vault away the rantings...
    As they talk and say some, recitation, till they're panting.

    One day I'll publish to the public my observations...
    That's if I establish the tactic of self preservation.
    Cuz currently I'm not hurriedly, attempting to depart...
    I'm at home where my ears can roam, and I don't need a heart.

    Skitten's verse
    Sun's Verse
    Camarac's Verse
    Last edited by Born To Kill; December 19th, 2003 at 04:25 PM

  2. #2
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    wow..a great piece..your wordplay is impressive..the content was also excellent..this was very nice

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title! CrackaBox187's Avatar
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    good structure, word play, shit was on beat
    [FONT=Century Gothic]DTA Records. DON'T TRUST ANYBODY[/FONT]

  4. #4
    Veteran Born To Kill's Avatar
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    Thanks for the feedback so far...

    Ya'll come up with more!

    Peace

  5. #5
    YoungBlack
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    that shit was tight man, the structure was good, and nice metas, overall good job...it seem's like you've been rappin for 30 years, man...

    8.5/10

  6. #6
    Banned
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    dope
    flow/vocab all ofi t
    man fuck this is sick... if i had some respect by vets i'd post it on RB legends

  7. #7
    Veteran Born To Kill's Avatar
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    Thanks for that, Vis...

    More peeps...

    How about some well-known heads...

    You guys can comment too, ya know.

  8. #8
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    i liked this peice...showin skillz...but i thought it sounded a bit poetic....jus seemed that way to me...it was well composed..but like i said not to my taste...i prefer some raw shit....no beef tho obviously...jus honesty....pZ....good composition tho....
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

  9. #9
    Veteran Born To Kill's Avatar
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    Uppin for more peeps...

    Would like to get feedback from more if possible.

    Thanks

  10. #10
    Banned Penskills's Avatar
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    .Your structure,wordplay,content everything was on point..
    I personallly enjoyed the 'One day I'll publish..".Line..Very nice..

  11. #11
    Veteran Born To Kill's Avatar
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    Christmas Day uppin...

  12. #12
    Good Wordplay...Tight Vocab....Flow and Structure wuz on.............tIGHT ISH man...Can u Peep My Thread...Its Called CHange..Thanks Man
    Why Did U choose Instigator as ur Name?Cuz I'm a Trouble Maker to Society...

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  13. #13
    Good work on this b2k..

    Quotable:

    Mostly comical, often diabolical, but always entertaining...
    It's whimsical and almost protocol, their complaining.
    Keep it up.

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    . . .

  14. #14
    Veteran Born To Kill's Avatar
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    Thank you, sir...

    Need a couple of more peeps from the classic heads around here.

    Certain folk ain't checked this yet.

    Peace

  15. #15
    Newbie BaG oF SkILLz's Avatar
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    So I keep my presence in the present, eavesdropping...
    Cuz my residence has a regiment for grief stopping.
    Act kind with an open mind, while medication courses...
    In time you'll unwind, as they discover pain's sources.

    This verse right here was damn near flawless kid, I was feelin it.

    Oration can bring elation, so I await spoken words...
    With sedation as foundation, they can sound so absurd.
    Mostly comical, often diabolical, but always entertaining...
    It's whimsical and almost protocol, their complaining.

    Vocab here and flow on point..like to hear ya on audio..real hot shit right here 8.5/10
    Zero effects

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