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Thread: how my personality, been shaped

  1. #1
    the medicine man
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    how my personality, been shaped

    pieces i dropped feedback on
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=97441

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...808#post973808

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...816#post973816


    Believe what you want to, but his is a small look into my life.............


    early, as far as i can remember
    my house was poor, but my youthfull mind was rich,
    each day, my mother being teared, apart bit by bit,
    by the man who she loved, my so called 'step father'
    he abused her most days, each time took 1 'step farther'
    3 brothers and a sister, by this man, no relation of me,
    but after everything, i look out for them, no hate i see,
    hoping that every, day my dad, would arrive back,
    to see me, and stop all the verbal assalts an attacks,
    but i've never set my eyes on this coward knowingly,
    or since, my mum moved out, seen any of them willingly,

    care
    high school, 1st year, another blow, as i moved nto care,
    told it was for the best, i would be treated good and fair,
    confused in a home substituted by some woman my mother,
    moved very far away from, my sister and three brothers,
    a placement breakdown, was what i achieved at fourteen,
    into a childrens home i was moved, so fast my views wernt seen,

    now
    present day, still in care my lodgings are barely supported,
    at times felt, treated like a puppet, my views never quoted,
    truth comes out now, all my life, are what lies i've recieved,
    by the social services, and my family i've been decieved,
    reasons changed, things have been brought into new light,
    feels like i've wasted, the most precious time of my life,
    i still have love the woman that brought me to this world,
    who suffered and endeered to have 3 boys an a little girl,
    but i wish, there was times when i could of openen my emotions,
    and raps the only true way, inside i can justify my motions.

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  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    good drop...vocab improved as it went on....7.5/10...good job dude...flow was good..pretty solid.

  3. #3
    Life & Times
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    I loved it coz it came from your heart.
    The fact that you keep refering to your brothers and sister show that you care for them
    Flow was good and so was vocab
    Good drop.
    Overall 8/10
    LM
    The Life
    & Times
    ...The Rhymes

  4. #4
    Banned
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    Yeah i agree this was a pretty good piece here.....enjoyed the read...structure in this was real nice...flow in this was pretty good, it stayed on through out it i thought....your vocab was good, liked that...i was feeling the emotion, keep that up....and keep at it.

  5. #5
    the medicine man
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    uppin for a lil more feedback,
    thanks for the reply guys

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  6. #6
    Newbie
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    Good shit right here.
    Wordplay and flow good.
    I saw some multies used in there.
    I favored the first part.
    Overall 8.5/10
    Keep em coming.
    Return the favor.

  7. #7
    Killjoy
    Guest
    What My Nigga
    you know that was a good drop
    9.9/100 Good vocab

    >>>>>>>>>> PEACE TO MY NIGGA's >>>>>>>>>>

  8. #8
    the medicine man
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    ^^9.9 out of 100^^^
    cant be bad

    up

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  9. #9
    Banned SPEC-tacular's Avatar
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    was a good piece rapped bout sum other shit it was tight flow was good vocab was good wordplay ight multis ok punch ight over all 7-7.5/10

  10. #10
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    its good to see a drop, where its related to the writer...it seemed quite meaningful and ya got ya point across....nice concept and quite well executed.....nuthin much wrong with the flow or nuthin..yeah nice piece...pZ.....
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

  11. #11
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    The pz was on pac, you did very well in showing your emotions and i think you have a great ability to show excellent imagery. I feel comraderee ur went thru tru tough times and thats shown clearly. pz and luv plz check out wisdom thanx
    Last edited by Jo-JO; December 10th, 2003 at 04:44 PM

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