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Thread: death's revenge within a mind: rotted

  1. #1
    Ipsum Provoked Images's Avatar
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    death's revenge within a mind: rotted

    death will come quick

    i have seen it
    it whispered to me..............in tha winds of tha lost times

    and i have listened


    tha voice, cold
    unnerving

    pain is wat it told me
    pain and destruction



    and speed
    on tha train-tracks called life..........................one way
    never to come back

    but please, oh please let it come back to me death
    i will love u for that
    so let it come back



    my life and spirit
    missing in action

    how did it leave by itself
    HA
    it always had a mind of it's own
    and it was not smart to embrace it

    like i did



    so let us not have it become alienated
    or it will leave.................................a journy never to return

    but please, oh please let it come back to me death
    i will love u for that
    so let it come back

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  2. #2
    *Daughter of 00* DthsMissingAngel's Avatar
    Join Date
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    Good job dude. Just like all of ur other writings. Structure and everything is great. I liked ur analysis on life. How its one way, never to come back. If only people could not live totally in the past and think about the present. Okay, gettin off the subject a lil. I think ya did a great job. Keep it up. Lookin forward to read more, so keep em comin.

    *(`'·.¸(`'·.¸**¸.·'´)¸.·'´)*
    «´¨`·..* SwEeT PeA *..·´¨`»
    *(¸.·'´(¸.·'´**`'·.¸)`'·.¸)*

  3. #3
    MoparMaddness
    Guest
    Great piece man. You hit it on the head. Life is a one way train and there is no turning back. Your structure is killer and all in all it was worth the read. Keep writting. Look forward to reading more.

    MM

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