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Thread: The pride..of a Warchild!

  1. October 23rd, 2003, 08:29 AM #1
    Edicius
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    The pride..of a Warchild!

    The pride of a Warchild !

    Thru My eyes..

    I see the pain in the childeren,
    eyes just like a big book..
    I see the memories, in their faces,
    all destroyed, when will it be good?.

    All the nights they were so damn scared.

    Thru the eyes of a warchild..

    Wonderin will i survive..,
    will i be saved by a 'human..
    From this so called thing..'life'
    They got the world watchin T.v,
    and im sufferin here..
    The got their phones in their pocket,
    makin fun of some queer..
    But still im stuck in the shadow..
    waitin on the end of this book..
    It seems the chapter keeps repeatin..
    never close to feel good..
    But i stay strong till i found it...
    found my way out of this mess...
    No more a pawn, but a fighter..
    puttin my destroyer in chess...
    They made me suffer made me cry...
    made me shout it out so loud, ..
    The took my life..they took my future,..
    but im still standin proud!...

    The un-destroyable pride of a warchild..

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  2. October 23rd, 2003, 09:33 AM #2
    west
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    sort of poetry here,good emotion shown as always,nice message and concept,shit had a meaning here,expression was real good,would be a slow song but a heartfelt one,vocab was descent throughout,flowed descently and i liked it.pretty good drop dawg.

    Peace

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  3. October 23rd, 2003, 09:33 AM #3
    PD
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    This was nice... kept it simple... I like that... didn't overdo the vocab... good concept... my favorite verse was...

    'But i stay strong till i found it...
    found my way out of this mess...
    No more a pawn, but a fighter..
    puttin my destroyer in chess...'

    Peace....

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  4. October 24th, 2003, 09:11 AM #4
    Edicius
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    More feedback...

    ^Up

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  5. October 24th, 2003, 10:44 AM #5
    pot1ent
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    yeah. .I was feeling this more as a poetry piece. . It had good structure but the content amazed me the most out of this piece. .Props on that. .Yeah overall just another good piece & a good read. .
    Pot` Ed.

    I dropped to show RM what hot was;
    And this faggot got Butterflies in his stomach the size of Mothra

    Your text is just another weak display
    One fist to your eye'll make it go through that black album remix phase. - Saviour Arraign

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  6. October 24th, 2003, 11:03 AM #6
    noncentz
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    POPETIC AND ELEGEANT IN WRITTING MADE THIS PEACES TO A PUZZLE PERFECTLY DONE.
    to love something,is to die for it ,if you do, your a martyr , but these days music is morbid, false carters ..prohet's for prophet no lie, look how our last martyr was crucified. to put it in it symplicity, you aint true...you wouldnt sacrifice a few dollars for authenticity..
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  7. October 24th, 2003, 12:34 PM #7
    Edicius
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    Thnx nominate like Whoa!

    Lol^^

    Up^^

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  8. October 25th, 2003, 09:44 AM #8
    Edicius
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    Up^^

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  9. October 25th, 2003, 09:56 AM #9
    rule
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    that was a good peice...i think you should drop that as well in the poems forum...but your wordplay was great, your message got across very easily thats wat made me stick to it, and the emotion was hot...very well done...peace
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  10. October 25th, 2003, 10:01 AM #10
    Edicius
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    Thnx go to RoA forum..need ur activeness..lol^^

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