Feed This....then I Will Return Favour

[Begin]

flows breeze OUTRAGEOUS, wordplays CONTAGIOUS,
the impact of words, reputations lead now FAMOUS/
ignorance under the blanket, illness is still CONCEALED,
explanations you need, like MAGICIANS tricks REVEALED/
switch vocabularly stance, still reaching higher PLAIN,
rap and rhyme prose content, 5 mic award ATTAINED/
metaphor analysis, strugglin shows "can't handle THIS",
Master of ART spittin, LYRICAL creatin HIP HOP FISTS/
preparations before, but in hindsight, PREDICITABLILTY,
firin blanks in retaliation, like MEN got INFERTILITY/
and this hostility, just in jealous awe of my RAP-ILL-ITY,
sickness defined wit rhymes, written in pyscho ward FACILITY/
eradicate the weaker OTHERS, drop gems that UNDERCOVERS,
elevation proportionate to uk figures, increasing NUMBERS...of SINGLE MOTHERS

i feel it flows well....but i can see in other styles how it won't....

whut y'all think

[trueinterlude]

The best thing i can say bout that was that your flow was ok but what with the CAPATILS??????......... Where were the metas, wordplay and punch`s. With out these it was a pretty basic drop.
need to elevate................. aight......... PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

[Begin]

DAMNNNN MAN....NO OFFENCE BUT YOU REALLY ARE A NEWBIE

FOR ONE...I AIN'T BATTLIN ANYONE SO THERE AIN'T NO PUNCHES IN THERE

next metaphors/similies

there at least 2 or 3 in there, and its only a 14 bar drop:

ignorance under the blanket, illness is still CONCEALED,
explanations you need, like MAGICIANS tricks REVEALED/
switch vocabularly stance, still reaching higher PLAIN,
rap and rhyme prose content, 5 mic award ATTAINED/
metaphor analysis, strugglin shows "can't handle THIS",
Master of ART spittin, LYRICAL creatin HIP HOP FISTS/

the vocab was good enough, not as complex as some of my others, but there defo wordplay....shit learn the definitions of the terminology, i can see you don't understand it...

dayum man....you need to go rhyme clinic, no offence, i mean the flow is "ok"....hahaha, newbie fo sho.....its aight....seriously tho, go peep the rhyme clinic

[noncentz]

hey ive seen alot woars if you just begining this isnt bad at all but if your a vet of the net and posted this you need to elivate....hit me up ill work with you on the little i know peep this out.............................
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=85487

[Begin]

up in

[pot1ent]

Okay Okay

Your flow was good with a solid structure.. You had good vocab and rhymed complex words.. so props on that

You didn't need to cap your rhymes.. people are quite capable of finding the rhymes when they read it.. Not that bigger problem though.. The scheme seemed basic but however did work

You spat your ideas thats all i can say on the topic of topics< lol

Pz .. Return the favour on one of my pieces with the same length reply.. you may have to use your brain to find what you really liked.. but do it.. thnx

[Rob D]

this was a ok drop, consistent flow and a good structure, cant find really worng with it but next time try and do a piece to a topic. and try and make it a bit longer, other than that this was a good drop, keep postin!

check this out and leave your comments

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=85276

[gotaloveforrap]

that was pretty good for a newb.......i sucked worse than that on my first post, so dont worry about it......the whole caps thing i wasnt feelin, everyone knows where it rhymes.......the vocab and wordplay was ok, could use some elevation, but pretty good for the most part........overall not bad, keep workin at it......

peace.......

[BOMBATOMIK]

I THOUGHT IT WAS TIGHT, NICE VOCAB, KEEP DOIN YA THANG!

[Begin]

aight....yo i will try and repay favour soon....thanks for feedin....i know there more of you out there aswell!!

[flizip]

the flow was tight, but your words ryhmed an had no filling, it like they were empty, nice drop though, just keep droppin an the elevation should come

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=85587

[Begin]

explain this:

but your words ryhmed an had no filling, it like they were empty

cos to be real, like i have said in alot of other spits i have done....there is much more meaning behind it then you will see...unless you got an eye for that kinda shit....

[yog_dogg]

okay u is a nwb this shit was kay to say the best.. but u definetaly is gonna need some work u need to elevate a shit loda bu thats okay keep postin and it will happen overtime

[Begin]

i am a newbie on this site....so i don't hav the "RAP BATTLES" style....i ain't a newbie on other postin sties aight....

[Lulong]

basically everything was average
the caps thing like everyone else I wasnt feelin cause when I rapped to it I yelled those words its just a habbit with capped words (picture a crazy dude flowin and yellin out everything capped). Anyways descent drop spec since you say your a newb but again caps made it represent itself differently than it would if it were all lowercase (it would be a more laid back type of flow).. anyways im uppin for feedback on my last post (Aint no drug got a hold of me ) if you could pop in there and critique i would appreciate it thx play, keep elevatin