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Thread: These little white lines

  1. #1
    Dr.Gonzo
    Guest

    These little white lines

    As I sit and stair out my window thinking of a better time
    Slowly following with my eyes as I intake the white line
    What troubles will tomorrow bring and what does this all mean?
    I lit my cigarette and contemplate this never-ending riddle
    Staring threw the rising smoke and feeling oh so little
    Surrounded by troubles on all sides the pressure building slow
    And I have no place to run to; I have no place to go
    I seek refuge in my mind and the drugs they calm my heart
    When did it go so wrong when did this shit start
    I look down at my pale skin, its translucent I can see through
    What I see puzzles me and sends me to a wonderful place
    A land of hope and mystery where everyone has a chance
    Love resides and people sing and people dance
    A place to call home a place to call my own
    Id live there in happiness for all eternity
    But a trickle of blood brings me back to reality
    This concrete jungle I call home this ghetto I reside
    Where drugs and alcohol run my life and pain lives inside
    I’m a prisoner in my body and my soul sleeps at night
    I try to look threw the haze and see what’s happened to me
    But it can’t be done all I see is the darkness and the tears
    The tears of hope and the tears of stress
    There’s nothing left of my life, I need a break, some time to rest
    Clutter and confusion and puzzlement and pain
    It comes and goes but in the end it’s all the same
    And all that will clear it is the drugs that keep me sane
    I know what must be done to stop this crying in my brain
    I look out the window inhale a finale breath
    Look down at the white line and take up the rest
    Lay my head back and exhale the sorrow
    Maybe things will be better tomorrow




    let me know what ya think

  2. #2
    ..Truth.. rule's Avatar
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    excellent peice...for only 5 drops...that was great...i liekd your wordplay and internals...you created a very indepth story line...i liekd it...7.5-8/10
    Soft Focus
    ..Returns..

  3. #3
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    iight

    wow for a 5th post this was awsome, but you cant really go by how many posts theyve got here, who knows how long theyve been writing, anywho this was great, you really showed me the whole picture, made me feel like i was in your head right while this was really happening, you made it come to life for me, and made me feel your pain, your thoughts clear, and i loved it all. i think alot of us once see/picture this place where we could be so happy and things would be perfect often wish we were that person we see from afar and think they have everything so alot of ppl can relate in one way or another. great piece waiting for more!

    ~Tera~
    DONT HATE
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  4. #4
    Dr.Gonzo
    Guest
    thx ALOT for the input

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