a 3 bar battle verse i did for the cypher let me kno if its tyte or whack

[HighDro]

he yells-anthrax couldnt rock the mic in a derailed Amtrack /
make this bitch stand-back wit flows that couldnt be sick in a T-gel Tampax//

Brain-Freeze neither hot or cold wit flows that r sharp enough to Stain-Tees/ (flow- blood, stain tees-blood stain on white tees)
insain-bees stingz n makes ya brain bleed u couldnt be sick if u on the corner n stayed-free//

rocky mics couldnt make your flow hard ya line n bars dont go together like two shopping dikes
head locking-pipes wont toughin bars more bitchy then bitches on they cycle while they try stopping bikes//


new style jus testing it see if it works let me kno if u think its hot or not

[HighDro]

let me kno what u think about this 3 bar its a battle verse i did in the cypher for diss the person above you but i wanted to kno if yall liked my new style or what

*1*

[Savir]

who are these guys u dissed???? cuz i really dont like punchlines and all that shit unless the person u dissin is involved...just askin............but as for now..this was....aight....the structure is a bit off for me ...better off broken down cuz they seem a bit long...original cuz neva heard of shit like this except the derailment part...good shit overall though...drop some more shit later ........


feedback on this http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=82853

[Emerge]

i cant say whether its tight or not cuz those lines didn stir my brain enough to think about it anyway wat was ure old style???
why would u want to change ure style though homie i bet u would do just as well i mean its not like all of a sudden u have a bigger vocab right??????
.....................................but...they did rhyme well so it was ku save ure self on that "he coudn be sick" that shit is played out na mean??

hooollllllllla

[HighDro]

yea i feel ya n my old style was like i didnt care for thinkin about what im gonna put down but now i make the first part ryme wit the last na mean

and i was dissin the cat above me in the cypher called Diss the cat above u haha so it was only a three bar so im gonna improve this style to its max

thanks for the feed back ~1~

if i can could i get more feed back thanks