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Thread: ~dark Child ~

  1. #1
    ~ProPaiN~
    Guest

    ~dark Child ~

    yo ama let my knowledge drop!!!....................feel the vibe
    lil story........peep

    She sits in a gloomy room,
    Shrivelling with cold and doom
    She utters with weeps as thoughts recede,
    And destined to nothing less than sorrow and deceive.

    Lost in her own mind
    She’s too weak to fight back and only flows with the tide
    The pain with each breath seems to be much stronger,
    And fate assures this pain to prolong much longer.

    Ever since she could remember,
    She was a child of bliss and tender,
    Her face so delicate, sweet as the doves,
    Always smiling, its aim was to spread love.

    Her attacker couldn’t care less of her
    Taking the blame she’s left to bear,
    “ Who will listen after all?” she cries,
    The earlier I tell, the earlier I die.

    “ It’s only for the best”, they will say
    Believing their way is going to repay
    All that’s been possessed and taken away
    Expecting her to just forget like it’s some childs play.

    Too hard to forgive the tears shed,
    Too hard to forget how much she bled
    She doesn’t know how to deal with all the fear
    And the man whose voice so crystal clear.

    Meanwhile on the other side of the city
    Her friend too is experiencing the same misery
    Once like precious stones, living in vain,
    They both now share and endure the same pain.


    Critics

    Respect!!

  2. #2
    Banned Civilized Rebel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
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    The Beach
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    36
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    3,625
    Battle Record
    3-1
    The ending totally came out in suprise. Didn't even know what it was there for.

    This was nice even though it was a descriptionary peice. I mean, there was a situation and you described it as it was at one single moment. Pretty awe inspiring in of itself. And there weren't any real technical problems in it either. None I could find at least.

    Overall I liked this.

  3. #3
    ..Truth.. rule's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
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    Ont.
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    Battle Record
    23-19
    you did through down an amazing vibe...you lifted my eyes on that man...that was dope...the word play was incredible and the imaginary..vcab was tihght damn good poem homie...keep it up
    Soft Focus
    ..Returns..

  4. #4
    ~ProPaiN~
    Guest
    NECRO AnD RULE Thanks fo THe RESp

    UPPUN

  5. #5
    ~ProPaiN~
    Guest
    UPPUN

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