New Keystyle I wrote durin tha week in school

[DeadlySpitta]

Made to "Im Gonna Be All Right" beat.

Holla at me... I got a chick dat wanna follow me
And now homeboy got a lot of problems wit me//
Talk about I stole his girl behind his back
But she came to me cause he was peddlin crack//
Homie is whack... Shit, wit his gear and all
He's da type of nigga dat u dont wanna call//
His game is down and his lines are very weak
You can tell that he wasnt at tha top of tha peak//
Now he want beef?... Haha, lets get down to it
Ima dirty fighter when it comes down to it//
When I need to, I go straight for tha kill
Then I leave his dead body on tha side of tha hill//
J-Day's real... Watches, Chains, and all
And Im da type of nigga dat u'll always see ball//
Come to PGH If u wanna see me
Then I'll put u in tha hospital pumpin 100 double C//
Would u please... stop bein on my dick
Cause all of y'all motherfuckers makin me sick//
Ima be out wit my final line
Wit a hot ass chick and a bottle of wine//
Im feelin fine... I never felt like this before
Like when I first got pussy and I wanted sum more//
I'll leave a trail of gun powder from da gat
Afta I leave u dead. Bitch, aint no fuckin wit dat//

Leave comments... any type... even tha "gangsta attitude is old" comments even though u hear it everyday anyway.

Lataz.

[DeadlySpitta]

Cmon, Uppin.

[Begin]

ok this was good in parts, but still the wordplay and rhyme use was kinda basic and predictable:

Would u please... stop bein on my dick
Cause all of y'all motherfuckers makin me sick//

it was a good basic spit, and that ain't bad cos lots of people ain't got the basics sorted, but to elevate you need to improve the flow by increasing or decreasing some lines and makin them more similair, although i would say you almost got that anyway...

the main thing would be to increase your vocabulary, by using bigger syallabled words to rhyme with,

but good spittin, keep droppin, always gettin better,

PEEP MY SPIT IF YOU GOT TIME, PEACE