~Game Over~

[Bounce]

Something I keystyled durring a tense and hectic day this week...
Stressed beyond relief, completely drained, and still had to deal with issue's at work, very very very alarming issue's. Then to have only more added after work.... So you get the mood I was in now... As always I appreciate your feedback.






Gave Over


I’m distracted by a mental
Chaotic overload
Pulled in every direction
I’m about to explode
Blood pressure’s rising
Restricting my Hemoglobe
Burning pains in my chest
Tormenting my soul
Voices echo in my head
Telling me to let go
Everywhere that I turn
I face a new episode
Go ahead and gun me down
Let my body corrode
Rip the flesh from my bones
Leave me dead on the road
With blood pouring from my eyes
Shivering from the cold
Tell my daughter Daddy loves her
But they just broke the mold
My body’s riddled with lead
My brain’s a stain on the floor
Aggravated by love
I’ll never feel any more
Ravaged by scorn
Just another day in my war
I awake and ask myself
What does God have in store
How much more can I take
Before I’m wore to my core
My mind is breaking down
Don’t make me even the score!
Don’t make me wage a new war!
Don’t make me let out a roar!
Anger, frustration and hostility
Are so common to me
Undermining my central philosophy
Guiding, directing and protecting
Those associated with me
Giving my life for their tranquility
Disrespect, disregard and dishonesty
Is what they return to me
Why so many destructive tendencies
Game over
They brought me to my knees!

[shiznit]

Shiznit's Thoughts:

Very emotional piece.

The tendency sometimes when u feel like the world is against you would be a continually stressfull life.

Regardless of how you wanted your life to be in tranquility, there are still endless problems, difficulites, and thoughts pressuring you. Your brain starts to overload and gives you more pains and distractions.

I felt that you wanted a break from everything. You feel like its too much. Being preoccupied every minute seems a bit hard that it would make you say "ahhhhhhhh..just shoot me".

But come to think of it. Everything happens for a reason. Youll never know despite of all that stuff that youve been experiencing right now would have a better possibility of having something good/better in exchange.

Its worth reading it.

Rhetorical Insights VII is up. Ive seen your written stuff on there. Its quite amazing...so if u have a time out from all ur stress..jsut drop one in there. THanks.

[Dead and Famous]

My body’s riddled with lead
My brain’s a stain on the floor

i like how you let out your emotions directly into this peice
i can only say that keep writing becasue teh more you let out the more you feel like you can deal with the new issues that are bound to arise and you need to be prepared to fight them
~~elev~~
pz DF

[Content]

you have the ability to write or rhyme
whenever which is definately a wonderful gift...
many of us can and cant do it and write well
but for those that are capable of it always
make something presentable for you and yours....

I dont wanna be repetative...this made me
think of eminem's song 'rabbit run' on the
8 Mile soundtrack..lyrically this was even
with it as well as emmotionally...
dealing with life in general..his daughter..
and just about everything around him
(his stress on the other hand is nothing like yours)
in between considered an obstacle beyond his opticals
making things that were recently in sight
just not seem possiby possible...

you can make it possible though man...you got
a good heart and something to live for...
something to die for..something worth 'preserving'
just keep treating your daughter like fine wine mi hombre

well done....well done

la paz

[Bounce]

Shiznit you hit it on the head, this was a straight forward type piece, I did not add the level of complexity I normally do, but I guess that's because it was more of a vent. You really got what I was trying to convey. I was tired and just feed up, I got into a scrape after work that day and I was like fuck it. Do what ya got to do, I guess homie knew I was a little crazed that day. He went on his way, then my EX cuased me some drama. Nothing new, just not needed at the time. By the time I sat down and wrote the drop, I was ready to snap, so yeah you nailed it. Thanks for reading it, and leaving your thought's, as you are one of my favorites here on RB. No diss to anyone else, but you really leave honest thought's, good or not.

I will drop something later in the Rhetorical Insight's, that is one of my favorite threads...

I did not forget you Dead and Famous, we seem to have an avitar in common, and most likely alot more, since it is Bob Marley we both are flossing... I thank you for the comments and will do my best to keep writting and elevating..

Can't forget Content... Thanks man, for the insight, ya know what I mean... I can honestly relate to M&M, my life has been a real piece of work. I don't want to sound like a net thug, but I have been through some shit and more. I have fought and fought for as long as I can remember, mostly for others, but this time it's for me... I am sure you know what I mean... Thanks for your kind words, comming from someone with ton's of talent, they really mean alot to me...

Peace...

Respect to all

[BADASSBITCH4LIFE]

Originally posted by shiznit
Very emotional piece.

The tendency sometimes when u feel like the world is against you would be a continually stressfull life.

Regardless of how you wanted your life to be in tranquility, there are still endless problems, difficulites, and thoughts pressuring you. Your brain starts to overload and gives you more pains and distractions.

I felt that you wanted a break from everything. You feel like its too much. Being preoccupied every minute seems a bit hard that it would make you say "ahhhhhhhh..just shoot me".

But come to think of it. Everything happens for a reason. Youll never know despite of all that stuff that youve been experiencing right now would have a better possibility of having something good/better in exchange.

Its worth reading it.

^^^^^^^^my thoughts exactly u have alot of talent and everything happens 4 a reason u gotta play tha hand that life has dealt.Good drop>keep uppin i give it a 8/10~1luv~

[Varentao]

^*wonders what she edited*...

A powerful full on vent. Which didn't ignore the depths of your anger and problems. Some parts of course were so personal that it's up to the reader to work out "what's he talking about with that?"...

Overall, you came with a strong vent. Letting your emotions drop onto paper. No real critique. Though some links were loose. It didn't matter. As it's a vent. Some might say that adds to the effect even.

...resp....

EDIT: Oh alright, i see. Thought it was something more juicy than that. Gah!

Bouncy's piece was mucho betteros (er..)...agreed. Very nice.

[Deceit]

I have to say, i hated this, bounce is quite a terrible poet, no feeling, no emotion, no understanding and no talent...
What possessed you to write that?
First i hated the entry to the poem, and it was too quickfire to savour anything, second, there were general mistakes everywhere and third it revealed nothing and even worse was of no consequence!!!

Ahem, turn everything i just said around to it's opposite and make it a good thing...I jus wanted to be different with my compliments

I have to say, i loved this, bounce is quite a great poet, feeling, emotion, understanding and talent...
What possessed you to write so well?
First i loved the entry to the poem, and it was quickfire and didn't give any time to savour anything, which shows exactly the hectic truth in you, second, there were general mistakes everywhere in grammar, spelling which showed rushed, enthusiastic anger and third it revealed nothing and even better was of no consequence leaving us thinking, wondering and truly feeling what you felt to a tee!!!
Most of all, it had what i find the most important, heart. You put yourself in there and threw it out...

Excellent, Amazing, Brilliant drop...
(but i'm still better )

[shiznit]

^^Have you checked in the Tourny yet?


Varentao..she just kinda posted twice by mistake. So i kinda edited it to post the one that she really wanted.


Just keepin everything organized.


P.S.

Bounce, your entry in Rheto. I. was amazing (as well as Varentao's)


BRILLIANT.

[DeadlyAlliance]

Originally posted by shiznit
Shiznit's Thoughts:

Very emotional piece.

The tendency sometimes when u feel like the world is against you would be a continually stressfull life.

Regardless of how you wanted your life to be in tranquility, there are still endless problems, difficulites, and thoughts pressuring you. Your brain starts to overload and gives you more pains and distractions.

I felt that you wanted a break from everything. You feel like its too much. Being preoccupied every minute seems a bit hard that it would make you say "ahhhhhhhh..just shoot me".

But come to think of it. Everything happens for a reason. Youll never know despite of all that stuff that youve been experiencing right now would have a better possibility of having something good/better in exchange.

Its worth reading it.

Rhetorical Insights VII is up. Ive seen your written stuff on there. Its quite amazing...so if u have a time out from all ur stress..jsut drop one in there. THanks.