Dear God

[Winnipeghustlin]

My life on the regular is straight fucked like the electric chair
rock my own personal clothin line its hectic wear,
lately feelin far from god so this heres my dialectic prayer
dear God, i feel like this my year dawg,
i spit so much beef callin out fags and queer squads.
I do but i shouldn't, 1 on 1, or 1 on 5,
I should know this, numbers matter big when it comes to crime,
I got love fo family so I gotta stay on my grind,
this life is sad, rollin round mad, shoulda got the crown dad,
two eses in a regal blued up, that’s the way I found plaid,
learned a lot things seein life through my eyes,
shed tears, lost peers, RIP to my guys,
I cant imagine leavin this life that young, Kids losin rights to come
and I still ‘member them nights we’d done,
God my sins are my way of therapy like drugs u scared to see,
now take care of me, I’m overdosing on rarer E,
shit i’d done I know i cant reverse, hope next time I run, don’t end up in a hearse
the gangstas curse, Live Fast Die Young, please Forgive past Sly Runs,
Give last goodbyes, Son

[Winnipeghustlin]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...html?p=7594986
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....html?t=425506

[4renSICK]

this was decent i guess; u failed on keeping me wanting to read, but ya flow was iight.
you need to step it up tho..keep the reader wanting to read..emotion, imagery, u had a basic "gangster" gone soft flow and concept...idk keep writing

[Wise Ways]

word.. lyrically decent.. i guess this was just kind of a ramble about a bunch of random shit which i've done before but i don't know i felt this lacked in that aspect..you had some content in it though... maybe try to expand on that .. next time give us some type of a story or some shit mayne...pce.

[Nika Subin]

Word. This is good stuff. I for one did want to keep reading, but I get like that sometimes too.

This wasn't just any hardcore gangsta rapper type steezioso. This was a straight up prayer piece. Prayer's are personal. And his had a nice flow to it. I mean, it really did remind me a lot of Tupac. I aint even listen to Tupac in a long while, it just makes me think you the writer had done did in preparation for this piece. If not, that's cool, just saying.

I think applying your spiritual quest to your rhymes, and vice-versa, you'll find yourself getting a lot better. In ways you might not realize.

[Winnipeghustlin]

thanks for the feed boys, i appreciate it

[Aco_KK]

Content was good, loving the multis at the beginning especially the dialected prayer. had me wanting to read except when I got to the part about "RIP to my guys", i dunno, like someone said gangster gone soft at that part.

Chin up and keep writing. =)

[MC Fatal]

It had some good parts. needed better multi's.