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Thread: Lost FAiTh

  1. #1
    prophiit
    Guest

    Lost FAiTh

    simplistic in my addictive pretension of apprehensive tension
    born tortured within this sick and corrupt system
    i hardly have a chance to word this verse
    before i'm disturbed by nerves cursed to curse
    as i angrily reply to criticism poignantly pointed with little wisdom
    i search in the void of my soul at the edge of the cataclysm
    not one for activism i prefer to activate the elevation
    to bear forth the fruits of unlabored creation
    this simulation bears meaning leaving seeming seeds screaming
    like the pit of hell with tortured souls toppled and teeming
    so this evening i sit and pen a message to the new messiah
    with dark thoughts of immenent destruction full of lust and desire
    mired in muck and mud my mind manages to mask many meanings
    leaving me in a fog of lost thought and pain am i dreaming
    to be unconquerable inside this unborn body
    i lobby sobbing to be helped by somebody
    but oddly a sense of relief engulfs my members
    as i remember the timber of my mentors voice slowly as it simmers
    "the loss of faith is the doorway the devil enters"

  2. #2
    to be unconquerable inside this unborn body

    I love this line.
    Once again, I love your word play.. You have a great talent Profiit.

  3. #3
    prophiit
    Guest
    thank you i've been going through some stuff and i'm trying not to lose my faith.

  4. #4
    That's Right...I'm White Verbatim's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Location
    canada
    Age
    38
    Posts
    576
    Battle Record
    4-6
    yeh this was deep
    i felt it,
    hang in there, and don't lose faith
    keep droppin
    peace

  5. #5
    Certified Vet Content's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Pittsburgh,Pennsylvania
    Posts
    1,281
    Battle Record
    3-0
    damn you scholly...this is not a dickriding settlement

    flow...on point...
    vocabulary...on point
    imagery..on point....

    ill just say..a page in the source would be nice wouldnt it
    or XXL since the source is garbage...amazing talent my friend

    mired means stuck right? I could be wrong....

    well done and way to represent..'open micers' wouldnt get it..

    la paz
    myspace.com/tnetnoc
    myspace.com/understream

  6. #6
    prophiit
    Guest
    Originally posted by Content
    ill just say..a page in the source would be nice wouldnt it
    or XXL since the source is garbage...amazing talent my friend

    mired means stuck right? I could be wrong....

    well done and way to represent..'open micers' wouldnt get it..

    la paz
    garbage makes the source look bad. ha. mired means stuck and open micers would probably say work on your flow structure it better the vocabs okay but whats the point? this is actually a song i'm working on i wanted to see how it was so far. thanks for the positive feedback maybe we are twins (seperated at birth of course).1

  7. #7
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Split-eyez's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Age
    42
    Posts
    412
    Battle Record
    2-15
    Wow amazing piece
    magnificent wordplay, good flows, ... definitely something I'm really feeling.
    Keep ya head up and keep dropping shit like this.

    Peace
    Much too dangerous
    Meet the perfect stranger
    I'm the extreme case of fire and anger
    The misguided angel with deep routed fears
    My face shows the years of blood sweating tears
    Pay attention, this gypsy that deeply senses
    Evil spirits lurking behind picket fences
    Embarking darker images and skeletal remains
    Cold hearted soldier with ice in his veins

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