Looks up crying

[TR's Alias]

Sitting by the dark computer
Login, user, check pm’s… “loser”
Am I getting better?… “never’
This endeavor will never get better
Rap’s about fire, your just getting wetter
Fuck you all I do this cause Im loven it
"Dig deep for skills" nigga I'm shoveling
I need positive feedback to get up
"waste of time… shut the fuck up"
All I ask is for someone to point out what I did wrong
The bar was 2 long, play with words more
I know it doesn’t rhyme, fuck its not fair
I'm trying to get better, but it looks like you don’t care

[LikeWise]

You could start with your rhyme scheme...If you tried to spit this in audio the mic would multipy by two, transform into a crucifix and Nail you like jesus..I sense a bit of self-pitty from this..And a bit of "I need attention"..But i suppose everyone does..

If you have AIM or MSN i'll help you tho..Just drop the name...

[UNSURPA$$ED]

i will battle any one of u

holla back

[TR's Alias]

luda thanx for the feedback... back to topic

Likewise: thanx for the 2 cents... im NEW to this so im trying to find myself in every aspect of rap. I will agree this was kinda self pity/i need attention. Im happy you got that cause that means i was able to convey the message somewhat... thanx again

IM me: amatcha00

(didnt want to add another post)

what did u mean about the mic nailing me like jesus. Im guessing that means something bad but can you elaborate