Losing you throu acts of another

[Spoken]

hey its been awhile but im back yet again anywho here it is...

I dont know when the next time will be when i see your smilin face//
I look up at the clouds, prayin to god to send you back to your right place//
I cant imange a life without you here secure, close by my side//
I once told you that things would never change, i hate to think that i lied//

Your sparkling blue eyes truly blew away all my cloudy days//
without you i wouldnt been able to part the shit and see my way//
Your tiny hands held me up like crutches, when you pain twice more//
bastard stealing you away, to scared to stand up, sinkin right throu the floor//

Some ppl dont relise what they rip apart with one simple act//
want to show them all the pain it causes, but im too slow to react//
theres always these what ifs runnin blindly throu my head//
wishin screams would mute and i'd wake up with you safe in your bed//

Your fragil mind is too young to possibly take all this hell in//
tryin to find words to put it in but no matter what its always gonna be a sin//
And as you turn around in the back of your car seat to wave good-bye//
i swallow hard, hold my head high, wish you all the best, givin in to all the pain and cry//

[~Soultress~]

Oh i loved this....
it was really well written, and so very emotional...
captured the pain really well ma
stay up

[Varentao]

Though at times over-elaborating in many aspects. The purity of the piece made that less relevant.

By purity, i mean the heartfelt emotions. The raw way in which you wrote it, not allowing structure or anything to dictate too much.

The pain was easily relatable.

..resp...

[Spoken]

thx all keep uppin

[Spoken]

dont sleep

[Spoken]

quit sleepin

[Varentao]

^seriously, be patient. You upped it twice in a day or something. It'll come. This place is relaxed.

[Spoken]

uppin

[Split-eyez]

baby girl, I felt this... I could feel the pain in this piece
good work...
keep dropping and keep speaking straight from the heart, that's what poetry is all about.
Nice drop

[Dead and Famous]

I dont know when the next tme will be when i see your smilin face//
I look up at the clouds,prayin to god to send you back to your right place//
^^^ I love the imagery you displayed, i can see a smilin face lookin back my memorys thats how deep i perceived it

Your sparkling blue eyes truly blew away all my cloudy days//
without you i wouldnt been able to part the shit and see my way//
^^ your stanzas all start out very strong and finish good

Some ppl dont relise what they rip apart with one simple act//
want to show them all the pain it causes, but im too slow to react//
^^ I can envision your pain throughout the piece

Your fragil mind is too young to possibly take all this hell in//
tryin to find words to put it in but no matter what its always gonna be a sin//
And as you turn around in the back of your car seat to wave good-bye//
i swallow hard, hold my head high, wish you all the best, givin in to all the pain and cry//
^^ strong finish to the piece keep writin and elevatin yourself

pz DF