Slivered Stall

[Prince Escobar]

umm i freestyled a poem but i dont really like it so i just cut it down to a few lines just wanted reassurance...

twist and flip in my fingers heaven and hell spit scikles let em spill well~
this evanscent life i hear ringing sirenes instead of a bell~
done sparring wit the almighty shadow boxing my soul in a hole of eternity~
eternally perturbing and disturbing the wording thats burning me~
have a acidic sip of caustic visions trapped in a hell unfit for a prophet to live in~
my livid flowing methodic thoughts hold the truth like the apple adam had bitten~
My emersive verses submerges under the pain of loss~
and smashes your distractions and actions from crashin your train of thought~

umm feedback? 1luv.

[Prince Escobar]

comon dont sleep elevation is key, 1luv.

[Varentao]

I dug into the piece. And got the impression that you were talking about the pain you suffer within. And also how 'art' follows you also (heh, i wrote about that in the tourney thing..)..

And how you are getting tired of it constantly following you around. Like the pain is too constant, and the 'art' always there. No time for peace and quiet. No time for harmony. No time for you to rest. Or maybe i'm getting all that more from myself than this piece. You know, interlinking the two.

was a good piece. I felt at times the way you put the words together were a bit loose or broken. And if that was done for artistic purposes, wasn't done as well as it could've been.

But yeah, i was feeling it for sure. Especially as i used (and sometimes still do) freestyle/freetype poems in this kind of form. With that kind of cryptic and abstract way. Vocab more complicated than simple (which can also get annoying..)..

But yeah, a way of putting your feelings on 'paper'. Yet not fully wanting the reader to 'get it'. Because it's personal to youj. And you just wantit like that..you know, don't want people to know ya stuff...your thoughts too easily..and even if they do get it, it's so cryptic and open that one can always deny a meaning..(if you understand that...)...

..resp...