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Thread: dear dad/dear mom

  1. #1
    LaDy TrInItY
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    dear dad/dear mom

    Dear Dad did you hear my crys last night./
    Did you hear the evil thoughts i had to fight./
    No you didn't you never do you said you hope i die./
    Well i hope i die to then my pain from you will be through./
    Hallucinations in my head screamin at me sayin im crap./
    Screamin so loud but u don't hear, ur on a permanant nap./

    Dear Mom did you hear my crys last night./
    Did you see me in the mirror, boy tha visions i had to fight./
    No i didn't get genius on my ACT but you wouldn't care./
    I'm just that little lazy whore and u say life isn't fair./
    Is that why your never there and you constantly pull my hair./
    Or is that why you yelled at daddy for showing he cares./

    Dear Parents, I know i'm not what u wanted./
    Thats why at night i get constantly haunted./
    Screamin at myself, damn its my fault i was born./
    To you i'm an outkast like children of the corn./
    Tonight is my last now i'll no longer not be wanted./
    I'll let you have my lil bro and sis and let them be what ya wanted./
    Just remember you had a girl that was never true./
    She just loved you but you never saw in her truth./

  2. #2
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    Shiznit's THoughts:

    hmm...the sorta kinda letter thing goin on was well written...as far as the emotions...i was feelin it..

    this poem made me think of the song "Emotionless" by Good Charlotte...i dun kno if u ever heard of it..but when u hear it ..you would feel exactly those pains inside them...

    here's the lyrics of the song...it was nice bu the only difference was..this song was dedicated to his dad and urs are to both parents..

    Emotionless
    (just wanna share...lol)

    Hey dad,
    I'm writing to you
    not to tell you, that I still hate you
    just to ask you
    how you feel
    and how we fell apart
    how this fell apart

    are you happy out there in this great wide world?
    do you think about your sons?
    do you miss your little girl?
    when you lay your head down
    how do you sleep at night?
    do you even wonder if we're all right?

    but we're all right
    we're all right

    it's been a long hard road without you by my side
    why weren't you there all the nights that we cried
    you broke my mother's heart
    you broke your children for life
    it's not ok,
    but we're all right
    I remember the days, you were a hero in my eyes,
    but those were just a long lost memory of mine
    I spent so many years learning how to survive
    Now, I'm writing just to let you know I'm still alive

    the days I spent so cold, so hungry
    were full of hate
    I was so angry
    those scars run deep inside this tattooed body
    there's things I'll take to my grave
    but I'm okay
    I'm okay

    it's been a long hard road without you by my side
    why werent you there all the nights that we cried?
    you broke my mother's heart
    you broke your children for life
    it's not ok,
    but we're all right
    I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes,
    but those were just a long lost memory of mine
    Now, I'm writing just to let you know I'm still alive
    yeah, I'm still alive


    and sometimes
    I forgive
    and this time
    I'll admit that I miss you, I miss you
    hey dad

    this one has a different meaning tho..but when i read urs it just made me think of this song...hehe

    nice one lady....i really feelin this a lot...didnt put much vocab in it tho..but the content was very touching...keep it up!
    Last edited by shiznit; July 7th, 2003 at 09:35 PM

  3. #3
    LaDy TrInItY
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    it was off tha top of my dome..as i was cryin..and yea i got that song downloaded..good song!!

  4. #4
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    I completely felt this. I'm sorry you got to deal with this stuff. My situation isn't quite the same as this but I know where you're coming from. My parents used to drink a lot and I'd hear some shitty things from them about me. Bastards...anyways onto your poem.

    You wrote this really well. I felt everything you said. You didn't make the shit all confusing and a huge metaphor so the reader don't understand what the hell is going on. You made it simple with a lot of emotion in it.

    "Did you hear the evil thoughts i had to fight./
    No you didn't you never do you said you hope i die./
    Well i hope i die to then my pain from you will be through./
    Hallucinations in my head screamin at me sayin im crap./"

    Those lines brought up bad memories. I've heard those things said about me and I wished it would happen. I really felt those lines.

    "Dear Parents, I know i'm not what u wanted./
    Thats why at night i get constantly haunted./
    Screamin at myself, damn its my fault i was born./
    To you i'm an outkast like children of the corn./
    Tonight is my last now i'll no longer not be wanted./
    I'll let you have my lil bro and sis and let them be what ya wanted./"

    Those are the other set of lines I really liked. There really isn't a whole lot more I can say about this. It was really good. Keep posting.

  5. #5
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    yo babe

    good work babe. =)

  6. #6
    LaDy TrInItY
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    WOW!! WAY to post up a nice one! lol..sorry had to say it

  7. #7
    Obama 08 :) Sincere™'s Avatar
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    DAMN DAMN DAMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN MISS TRINITY.....Impressive Emotional Piece wow Nice drop love the contend and how u writtin it....


    Peep mine

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=63738

  8. #8
    Certified Like A COW Varentao's Avatar
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    Very emotional. I really do like how you get 'deep' with such simplicity. This cries out with your pain, a kind of pain held by a certain amount of 'logic'...it's hard to do that you know. Put such emotions with a kind of logic to it too. What i mean is, a logical way of looking at things.


    ...but you did it very well...

    ...resp...
    I'm too secure to have a signature.

    Oh.

  9. #9
    ReccA
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    I also thought that the depth u have in this poem using the more simple approach was amazing...for some, adding deep emotion to their pieces requires so much more.....and one other thing...
    Way to post up a nice one!!!...lol
    Peace

  10. #10
    LaDy TrInItY
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    hush ya mouth...lol..thanx kid...i always respected ya opinion

  11. #11
    That's Right...I'm White Verbatim's Avatar
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    ya this was nice, i went through the same shit back in the day, but i really liked this piece
    keep droppin
    peace

  12. #12
    LaDy TrInItY
    Guest
    uppin

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