A Disciple's Thread

[Spree]

masterbate

Gone

[A Disciple]

Like... it feels like I'm being bullied around in my own body by a tribe thats not even mine. Feeling sick, hissing or venting funny, kissing my hands, rubbing my legs, pain all the time, etc. I just don't like it! I don't want to share my body with their spirits in their circle and not feel like myself. It's like ever since I woke up it feels like they're trying to trick me and demand I change their way. That's dead wrong I been thru enough - now I have to feel like I'm losing myself even worse now? It's my body and I don't want to share. It's not my religion to, or culture to, it makes me feel gross, and its abusive. I don't want to live in that world.

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I mean what do they even get for them to be so persistant and demand like this? and honestly... I really do feel it's to get away with it all and what they did to me over the years.

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That play with myself during the pain shit doesn't work for me... that's another thing - it feels like they enjoy making me be in pain and try to insist I like it too... I really don't. I'm crazy... I don't need or want someone that's twisted. Who won't even leave me alone no matter how much I ask them to.

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It's MY body... I don't want to share it this way or live like this and NO!!!!!!! Why do they act like I don't have the rite to say no?

[A Disciple]

Well as you can see I would be put in hell with if I ever forgave or had or have anything to do with them bitches again! Please help to separate all of us so we can just sort some things out…

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Nah I wouldn’t do that… and I didn’t. Once shit and facts or things was confirmed yet still confusing… it hurt but not really - what ever but they still not gonna be with or come at or with me.

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Like that cute song “Losing my religion” not funny and I’ve been disrespected enough.

[Candy]

i just added that song to my mixtape

[A Disciple]

@Candy send me a link

@zunlo my bad I just seen the thread sorry I was late… can we rematch?

[Spree]

Nah you keep no showing it will cost you to get back in

[Candy]

No.

[Spree]

https://www.grindorgohome.com/forums...11#post1156111

What’s this

[Candy]

there old mixtape music i use to listen to growing up..

i mod over there and after a few years they made me a thread to put all the songs from it on

[A Disciple]

@Emily thank you... writing gets me thru the mental hell and I'm all for helping the next one to go thru it too. If I can. I learned music therapy in day hospital when I was 14. You listen to a song and you write how you relate to it and in my alternative high school we had the very same class too. Nah the site been REAL tolerant of me and my outbursts and even gave me my own thread I can trip on. LoL say hi anytime!!!

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@kill _spree the last thing I wanna do is no show I just don't see it in time. If it's a weekly thing I will know to check everyday I love comps... but I SUCK at diss tracks.

[Emily]

@Emily thank you... writing gets me thru the mental hell and I'm all for helping the next one to go thru it too. If I can. I learned music therapy in day hospital when I was 14. You listen to a song and you write how you relate to it and in my alternative high school we had the very same class too. Nah the site been REAL tolerant of me and my outbursts and even gave me my own thread I can trip on. LoL say hi anytime!!!

Hi anytime ; )

Your own thread is a great idea.
Music therapy sounds good for the soul.
Glad to see you’re still writing.
You’ve got a lot to offer, keep it up x

[A Disciple]

Sorry for reupping the post @Runade (I didn't realize)

[A Disciple]

Sorry… I thought it was on this thread and that’s why I got cut off writing.

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I never messed with that man what so ever but I know he was trying to play me or make it look like I was. 1) he was at my house in NF and I didn’t remember him… saying I was playing some song and I never even liked… tied to the situation from your side I assumed so why would I? 2) he was MARRIED 3) We are not compatible 4) not attracted to him like that

[A Disciple]

Dang I posted under the wrong thread again… sorry!!!! Like clicking me etc… how you just gonna demand to be my man or god and abuse me and act like I just have to accept it!!!! It’s not even my tastes or religion!!!! Was that a wolf on that tat?!?)? Cause nah man no way… wtf is really going on?!??

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The familiar 60 mph on the highway… like nah man… it feels like you keep coming back creeping so either souls are switching or you ghost and like… I wouldn’t be with that type either… I’m not going for self in what I’m fighting for to be ME!!! I’m going for peace and comfort in my own body ESPECIALLY in the name of MY god… not you!!! Not a bunch of spirits or what ever you are force me, abuse me, kiss my hands, and make look either ugly or pretty too!!!! Like you really have a bitch LITERALLY tied down… is that how you bitch a chick into submission?!?? I can’t… I just really can’t… I can’t tolerate a man like that over me or even allowed to and I can’t accept being forced to do anything I don’t want to either!!!! And the fact that you have more hair on your body then you’re head I assume is a real turn off too. I have a v dr I like but don’t cross that line - just fix me and protect me from THIS!!! My body isn’t some time share and I refuse to go thru this ever again for real.

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A person so selfish and arrogant really would think their invading and demanding is no big deal… it is to me!!!!

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I’m not looking for a man and we not a match!!!!

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Thanks though for the compliment but I’m not the type to be desperate either. I did play that role once too though - cause I thought I HAD to for fucking with “strangers in the shade” to even begin with… but I don’t! I stood, I withstood it, I got away and I learned!!!! Domestic violence is seriously some sick twisted shit!!!

[Pair-A-Dyce]

Do you have a microphone? Lets work