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Thread: To Chris

  1. #1
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
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    To Chris

    Dear Chris

    I’m not sure I ever wrote you before
    You know before I ever thought I’d end up this whore
    And I swore under oath
    And I wore the blood of you both
    But like… when it’s war and you just can’t take it no more
    You ask yourself what is it all even for
    I remember my growth but still lying to myself
    The worse being my health (mental)
    But you best believe I’m shooting for wealth
    (Just be gentle)
    What I want to tell him?
    The condom broke and then I knew
    You pulling the trigger at one man and one was pointing right back at you
    At me…
    Just don’t forget that I served too…
    But on the strength of your permission and grace I thank you too 2
    For every tear I cried… every year I ride
    Every time I tried… or every line I tied
    (Cause of I’ll tell you why)
    Cause to be honest it took years before I finally just died inside
    I can’t lie… I’m jaded again
    Mad at him like oh hell no… but wow
    Tell them bees they get one more sting…
    Black and yellow and do it
    “Do it now”
    I’m just going to remind them of one thing
    It’s over… it’s all over
    But I keep staring at that ring
    “It ain’t shit to a B boy stunting - believe me dawg it ain’t a thing”
    Maybe now we can relax and just lay it out straight
    Clean the black boards, throw out the trash, and wipe off the slate
    Cause how I learn to heal when all I knew was don’t hesitate?
    Same way how that now I’m learning how to feel and learning not to take the bate
    But wait…
    Yeah I know it’s me when even on time I’m always late
    Thats us and what was us and god and Chris gave them to me any way
    Something I saw as some hate to play or curse ended up saving my day
    At least they curing my sway (when I stand I sway like when Oprah got jumped in the color purple)
    And he already seen how I get lost and confused and sometimes just drive in circles
    (I lost my car once too)
    I don’t know what any of this means and I won’t promise yet that I’ll stay
    Like I told him life is like that old book choose your own adventure
    And paths can change per decision like that in a way
    But every day I’m a pray again
    And I’m a pray and pray
    Lord give me the strength cause I already had that and then that one just like that took it all away
    It’s how I feel today
    … and I can’t promise how I feel won’t change tomorrow
    But idk how I would feel if my soul wasn’t left to or on borrow… you know?

    I just got used to a way…
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~¥~+
    CLA919

  2. #2
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: To Chris

    Nah I am mad at the extra time… 5-8 years ago I could’ve still had babies (now it’s over… too late all around) FOR WHAT?!?!!?

    - - - Updated - - -

    Fighting? … foh how you not act like an animal when you caged like one?
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~¥~+
    CLA919

  3. #3
    MAD! A Disciple's Avatar
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    Re: To Chris

    But idk how I would DEAL if my soul wasn’t left to or on borrow… you know?*
    +~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~¥~+
    CLA919

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