Week 8: Joe Boston (2-5) vs Elvis Freshley (0-1) [Joe Boston wins OPEN FOR FEED]

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Thread: Week 8: Joe Boston (2-5) vs Elvis Freshley (0-1) [Joe Boston wins OPEN FOR FEED]

  1. #1
    Gotta be Tardi Fresh's Avatar
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    Week 8: Joe Boston (2-5) vs Elvis Freshley (0-1) [Joe Boston wins OPEN FOR FEED]



    Punches due by THURSDAY January 4th @ 11:59PM
    Voting closes SUNDAY January 7th @ 11:59PM


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    @Joe Boston
    @Elvis Freshley

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  2. #2
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    Re: Week 8: Joe Boston vs Elvis Freshley

    Check

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  3. #3
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    Re: Week 8: Joe Boston (2-5) vs Elvis Freshley (0-1)

    This mans a born Racist anything different he says hes in Denial
    I hope every Black Thought about killing him instead of seeing his face then spitting like a 10 minute freestyle

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  4. #4
    Reload KnowP's Avatar
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    Re: Week 8: Joe Boston (2-5) vs Elvis Freshley (0-1) [Joe Boston wins OPEN FOR FEED]

    felt the set up and concept and name play was all solid, but "seeing his face" kinda through the punch off to the left and stretched it a bit as well. light bars tho. Elvis disappearing isn't original either.


  5. #5
    COKE Kill Spree's Avatar
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    Re: Week 8: Joe Boston (2-5) vs Elvis Freshley (0-1) [Joe Boston wins OPEN FOR FEED]

    I’ve used black thought wordplay before this was a different angle though since it’s current. You need to dumb down your bar here. Word it better so it’s harsher but more to the point. Lose some words that don’t need to be there

  6. #6
    Gotta be Tardi Fresh's Avatar
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    Re: Week 8: Joe Boston (2-5) vs Elvis Freshley (0-1) [Joe Boston wins OPEN FOR FEED]

    Joe when you so how long this bar was did you not think it could have been reworded? Loses all its impact when you run out of breath by the time we're done reading it. Had potential but execution took away from potential impact.

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  7. #7
    Administrator ILLunatic's Avatar
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    Re: Week 8: Joe Boston (2-5) vs Elvis Freshley (0-1) [Joe Boston wins OPEN FOR FEED]

    Set up was choppy but the punch itself was slaughtered into a million pieces (or words).


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