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Thread: Week 4: Witty (1-1) vs Basic M (1-2) [Witty wins but booted for not voting]

  1. #1
    I'll have the gabagool Fresh's Avatar
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    Week 4: Witty (1-1) vs Basic M (1-2) [Witty wins but booted for not voting]



    Punches due by THURSDAY NOV 30th @ 11:59PM
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    @Witty
    @Basic M

  2. #2
    The Witness. Witty's Avatar
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    Re: Week 4: Witty (1-1) vs Basic M (1-2)

    Let's take a look at those 2 losses, first, Smog starved you of breath
    You picked yourself up, dusted yourself down...then Bomb Barred you to death

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  3. #3
    Revolution II OG Maestro's Avatar
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    Re: Week 4: Witty (1-1) vs Basic M (1-2)

    This prolly wouldn't have gotten you the dub tbh. nice rhymes per usual, great concept building. but the execution, from the wording to the actual closing of the punch, is severely lacking. you basically paid homage to 2 other writers instead of using their feats to further your own personal superiority over your opponent. it's like a rapper shouting out another rapper on a featured verse. you need to create your own tenacious presence and combine it with some wordplay, like the one you used here, and a harsh punch. you've got the rest of the elements necessary to win.

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  4. #4
    I'll have the gabagool Fresh's Avatar
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    Re: Week 4: Witty (1-1) vs Basic M (1-2)

    Witty wins Open for Feed. I'll drop some feed in a little bit

  5. #5
    I'll have the gabagool Fresh's Avatar
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    Re: Week 4: Witty (1-1) vs Basic M (1-2) [Witty wins OPEN FOR FEED]

    bomb barred had a lot of potential but the way you worded it didn't have much effect. Needed some other key wowrds in there to go with bombard like shell, explosion, mortar (could used mortar as a wp like "mortar your lack of skill than meets the eyes, s'why bomb barred you to death"). As is it didn't really hit but i can appreciate the wordplay attempt. You have the wordplay down just have to learn how to execute it.

  6. #6
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    Re: Week 4: Witty (1-1) vs Basic M (1-2) [Witty wins OPEN FOR FEED]

    Liked the bar as a whole but way to simplistic to be called a punch. Basic woulda ate this shit up

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    Re: Week 4: Witty (1-1) vs Basic M (1-2) [Witty wins OPEN FOR FEED]

    I like the personal tie but bomb barred you to death was way too simple it wasnt effective as far as sting factor went. I agree with Fresh you couldve used adjective to express the bomb barred reference to stand out more.
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  8. #8
    The Beast...P4P Krucial Th1rt3en's Avatar
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    Re: Week 4: Witty (1-1) vs Basic M (1-2) [Witty wins OPEN FOR FEED]

    Let's take a look at those 2 losses, first, Smog starved you of breath
    You picked yourself up, dusted yourself down...then Bomb Barred you to death

    fuck what they talkin bout, i liked this bar
    though u couldve made a punch out of Barred, and 'pick yourself up,dusted self off' didnt transition into a punch
    overall it isnt a scheme/punch.
    its still a decent bar to me, nameplay
    multies dope too
    Krucial Thirteen

  9. #9
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Requiem's Avatar
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    Re: Week 4: Witty (1-1) vs Basic M (1-2) [Witty wins OPEN FOR FEED]

    I personally liked the punch, set did a little too much explaining rather than really hammering home the punch. Think this could’ve been a fairly even battle. Good drop none the less.

  10. #10
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    Re: Week 4: Witty (1-1) vs Basic M (1-2) [Witty wins OPEN FOR FEED]

    Nothing harsh about this punch at all. Ending was lackluster and I didn't feel the convention l concept much here either.

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