Dream state

[DamOhOhOh]

listen close
every word i speak makes miracles happen
deep inside her heartbeat Rhythmical pattern
poetry flows profusely when spittin
Booty shaking words, baby i'm drippin
sweat thinking bout bees and the birds
young, wild and free smoking herbs
connecting earths foundations
spiritually balanced formulations
between heaven and hell, Is she an angel or a devil
I never can tell, between beauty on another level
Or a disguise, all i know is that magic is
an illusion graphic quiz tricking my eyes
i Blink twice to be sure enough i realize
The difference of a five star fantasy and real life
Pinch me, slap me or stab me with a steal knife
Your kiss good night, what does reality feel like

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How is this piece I wrote?

[DamOhOhOh]

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...-takes-(final)

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...m-hard-to-love

[SELF ACTIVATE]

I dug it. It had a real poetic vibe to it. Almost spoke word in essence. Nice rhyme scheme. Original voice. And some cool imagery. It was short and sweet and very well written. Props. You got skills and my attention. What else you got?

[DamOhOhOh]

Thanks, much appreciated. I'm in the process of writing, producing and I'm planning on recording them to put on this site.

[Sammy]

lol I actually thought this was cool. This verse seems to be about the in and out of a trance/ dream state. I thought that concept worked well with the free write style u went for. I especially noticed the free form and associations using modern slangs and expression lol.

"Booty shaking words, baby i'm drippin
sweat thinking bout bees and the birds
young, wild and free smoking herbs"

I've seen ur shit in the freestyle cypher once or twice and always felt I had a great grasp of flow and rhythm and it's pretty evident here. I would like more imagery (original imagery) but I felt this was made specifically for audio so I understand if u wanted to keep it audio friendly. Keep on.