WalkerBlack - On the Rooftop

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Thread: WalkerBlack - On the Rooftop

  1. #1
    SirVent
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    WalkerBlack - On the Rooftop

    On the rooftop I sat,
    pen and paper in hand
    Eyes level with the treetops,
    heart elsewhere; it ran
    And all of the birds
    sang their songs of despair
    For a great cloud was coming,
    thundering anguish and swears
    And though I was ware of those birds
    and their hasty style of flight
    I stayed despite,
    for I knew not of refuge in light

    Quarter past eleven,
    when the sun was due to fly higher
    Thanks to the cloud,
    it was early that the good sun retired
    Windows rattled and clanged,
    Eurus was well on his way
    And I greeted him kindly,
    for it was his pathway I paved
    In spite of love I acted for grief and for greed
    And as raindrops proceeded to fall,
    I sat in silence as heaven cried upon me
    I stood up and shivered,
    took a look at my skin
    With a bored sort of breath did I sigh,
    for there was nothing within
    Nearer to the roof's edge,
    I started to step
    Took a looked to the ground,
    and wondered if I was ready just yet -- And right then,
    The great cloud bursted
    and its children covered the sky
    And a wonderful voice told me firmly,
    "You are not ready to die"

    After the longest departure,
    my heart had run back
    With the largest of smiles,
    I took hold of my pen and my pad
    And I proceeded to write,
    "On the rooftop I sat, pen and paper in hand..."

  2. #2
    Bye bye black bird Poeta Demonio's Avatar
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    Re: WalkerBlack - On the Rooftop

    Really solid work from an exciting new writer. The pace and movement of the piece are measured perfectly and to be honest dude's probably the best new writer I've seen around in a long time. Definite yes from me.
    AI


    “ˇViva la Revolución!”

  3. #3
    Landed Emily's Avatar
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    Re: WalkerBlack - On the Rooftop

    Took a looked to the ground,
    Should be 'Took a look to the ground'

    The great cloud bursted
    Should be 'The great cloud burst'

    Regardless of the typo's in this, I still think it shows the great promise and passion of a writer who craves his art and let's it
    take his soul for a while, to write what it writes.

    Beautiful work here.

    I vote Yes.

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    @Karaoshi @Fatrick Swayze


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  4. #4
    wyrdsmyth Karaoshi's Avatar
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    Re: WalkerBlack - On the Rooftop

    Concur 100% with Poeta. This is the best piece of the 4 nominations this time 'round. Yes.

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