Truth Iscariot - Mother's Day

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Thread: Truth Iscariot - Mother's Day

  1. #1
    SirVent
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    Truth Iscariot - Mother's Day

    I didn't even visit your grave.
    I told myself,
    "You pussed out on that pain"
    "You know which one"
    Searching
    For that little marker with her name
    Finding
    Cold dirt, in place of her smiling face
    And when that reality hits!
    Bricks! To cheek, brow, and lip
    Your psyche bruised on impact
    Of the Revelation
    She's really gone....

    ..
    ...

    Damn.

    Realization is like losing you all over again.
    I always make pretend when my mind drifts
    You faked it all and moved to Cuba.
    Paris, Venice, Bermuda.
    Even Berlin. I recall tales of my mom, the army brat
    Living in Deutschland. But not long enough to master German.
    So these fantasies make sense...
    Right?

    It's just a way to cope. How I learned to revive hope.
    I have to put this all in scope
    Who wants to spend Mother's Day without a Mother?
    After 20 odd years of Father's Day without a Father
    It's odd the Patriachs abscence bothers little unlike that of the Matriarch.
    I recall nothing but happiness in my Fatherless childhood. I had my mama and Grandma.
    I had women in my life who surpassed stereotypes of broken homes to make a man
    And now both those Angels lay beneath the feet that I stand on...
    Damn.



    This hurt is everyday. This hurt is memories.
    Your love sings from the past - A haunting symphony
    I simply can't escape the way
    I miss the bliss of distance
    From the Reaper, whose persistence will best us all one day.
    Seeing it is knowing. Flower throwing at the casket lowering.
    The gift of a last look before it's closing.
    "Good-Bye."
    As if I truly got the chance to say it.
    This closure is false.
    They murder your wallet to do things right and send them off well.
    Fallacies come at too high a cost. Anger swells at the thought.
    Gone is Gone.

    There's no true ending to this. Just me here yearning to hear a voice I never will again.
    My mom was more than protector and nurturer
    She was my best friend.
    In her absence, I swear, it's like no one understands
    I know she would. I saw her battle the same depression when Her Mother passed.
    Both deaths so sudden. My mother was neglected the chance to say farewells as well.
    She couldn't beseech that last bit of guidance
    That void birthed uncertainty in herself.
    I lived the same. I can tell.
    It's in my brain. It's in my DNA.
    We pass down sorrow.
    Heriditary predisposition
    It's our human condition.
    To live finite lives. Behaving in an 'infinite' way
    Taking for granted our tommorows
    And dwelling on our yesterdays.

  2. #2
    Jedi Forks. Fatrick Swayze's Avatar
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    Re: Truth Iscariot - Mother's Day

    I love truths poetry but tbh if I'm comparing what's his best stuff I've read since I've come back.

    I would honestly vote his awkward piece over this one. So for that fact. No
    DamNation

  3. #3
    Bye bye black bird Poeta Demonio's Avatar
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    Re: Truth Iscariot - Mother's Day

    It's a tricky one. Given that it's a lamentation it's personal nature brings out an honesty and reliability in the narrative voice that would otherwise be very difficult to achieve in such a specific way, such as the Deutschland part where you feel as though you've really got an imprint of a person behind face value. However, I don't think it's anywhere near his best written in a poetic sense which is actually why I didn't feed it in the first place, given its personal nature, so i can't confidently vote yes. In fact I think i have to say no
    AI


    “ˇViva la Revolución!”

  4. #4
    wyrdsmyth Karaoshi's Avatar
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    Re: Truth Iscariot - Mother's Day

    This was raw, emotional, real. It also rambled slightly. With a little more focus this would have been a solid blow by blow the whole way thru. As is it started very strong, then let off with a few flurries here and there. After the first stanza I wanted to say yes but by the end I think it was good but just missed out on delivering that same power the whole way thru. So it's a sorry no from me.

  5. #5
    Landed Emily's Avatar
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    Re: Truth Iscariot - Mother's Day

    After reading your comments...'people above me' lol I'd have to say I agree with you.
    I loved this sentimental piece but yeah after reading some of your thoughts I've gotta agree.
    There's been more polished Truth pieces. So based on that...
    V - no


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  6. #6
    SirVent
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    Re: Truth Iscariot - Mother's Day

    So this is a solid no.

    Closed.

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    the theory of cause and effect is flawed,
    we expect the outcome to mirror the struggle, that's wrong.

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