Closed doors with no closure

[Kim Jung Unnnhmm]

Theres a big difference between taking a stand/
And standing to man up/
Between taking a chance/
And chancing to take it/
Between havin it made/
and having to make it/
Catching and chasing/
Now you DO have to reach to achieve/
But you don't achieve just cus you reach/
You can't sow what you reap/
when growth isn't shown in each and every seed/
See the distance is greater/
when the meaning is deep/
But if you continue to just dreaming/
You'll stay stuck asleep/
They say talk is cheap/
But I traded my well being for a handful of conversation/
Resulting in a lack of speech/
Now how the hell do i express myself?/
Self proclaimed isolation/
Yes Im to blame, and if that lessens my name then I guess Im just shameless/
Charged it to the game/
But I dont see a way to reach my destination/
So let this be my proclamation of a duration of aimless/
hate, rage, and anger/
engaged for displacement/
See I've hurt alot of different people/
A whole lot of different ways/
But In those cases I still managed to make it through the days/
Part art, part insane/
However, apart from the same/
Rehearsed words I display/
Today I came playing a different sound/
No, this time I refuse to let my knees hit the ground/
Cus for every pound of pressure/
Measured by my weathered heart/
Every last second spent together/
Every single moment We've been apart/
Every time I left your head riddled in doubt/
If I could I would never show you/
How it feels to hold the fault/
In all that tore us apart/
And even if you can understand how sorry I am/
Or what its like living life, when you know in your soul you are not a Man/
Tearing at the seams from all of the things I NEED to say to you/
So why am i beating around/
Why do I keep shutting my mouth/
Avoiding anyone close to me/
Actively shutting them out?/
Because Ive figured it out./
In addition to dragging this out/
for fear of the now/
Despite losing count of the hurt that amounted when I was around/
That accounts for a large portion of self loathing/
It hurts just knowing that this gross of hoping is just slowing me down/
There is no copeing with being the joke that poked holes in your whole being/
baring my teeth barely able to bare the weight of defeat/
I wouldn't dare to pretend that I didn't care/
or expect anyone to spare some relief/
Ill just wear this blank stare/
fully aware of how unfair it is to you for me keeping it up, tryin to keep you around/
I cant promise this is the end of me letting it out/
I just need you to know/
Aside from everything I have broken/
How I feel about ME for failing you/
Just incase you couldn't tell/
I let myself down as well/
Well its just as well/
My inhales expose/
and provoke a choke in my throat/
Ill try to stop with imposing on you/
Ill commit to this road that I chose/
Dispose of my emotions/
Wish you luck/
Pray you achieve all of your goals/
I guess I can go, without any closure/
We wont have the need to exchange our good-byes/
I'll just ignore whats unspoken and accept as a fact/
that all beautiful things must come to a close/

[_Lyrics]

What up sir dirty! Let me be the first to welcome you to Open Mic! please, dont forget to drop some feedback and others will return the favor too, This piece was interesting and pressed out some pretty strong emotions, it definitely had a good writing from the heart feeling, and it fit well with the topic, I think the structure and the flow maybe a little out of range, It seems as i'm reading it's got plenty of internal rhymes and it's shorter bars for the most part so it is easy run through. I would like to hear how one of these verses relates in audio, I'd like to see the verses broken up with a meaningful chorus, that could be a short poetic stanza of a sort. I liked the interesting wordchoices while the writing did feel natural and the flow was alright. Thanks for the read!