Jukon - Circles
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Thread: Jukon - Circles

  1. #1
    SirVent
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    Jukon - Circles

    we talk in the dark,
    hiding our eyes
    and the cracks
    in our smiles.
    they're forced, of course
    so they begin
    to chip away
    at the shine we both had,
    threatening to expose
    the true thoughts
    that encapsulated
    a depressed spirit.

    so we talked in circles
    to avoid
    getting to the end.
    repeating history
    even though
    the pages were soaked
    with misery.
    we still re-read the books
    hoping the ending
    would be different.

    but still they remain,
    the words we say so often,
    painted in my mind,
    hoping that I've lost them.

  2. #2
    SirVent
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    Re: Jukon - Circles

    Nope

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    the theory of cause and effect is flawed,
    we expect the outcome to mirror the struggle, that's wrong.

  3. #3
    Landed Emily's Avatar
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    Re: Jukon - Circles

    I like this a lot, but for hof I don't think it's quite there.
    For more information you can always check my feed on the piece.


    V

    No


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  4. #4
    wyrdsmyth Karaoshi's Avatar
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    Re: Jukon - Circles

    I'm warming to this piece the more times I read it. I think this is one of those poems where the real meat is in the story that isn't told. The story of how the characters came together, who they are, how they got here etc. It's the kind of piece that teases me into wanting to know more about the characters. That is a quality I dearly love in books and tv shows, but in poems... in poems I'm looking for an insight, not to be teased with the potential for insight.

    I'd like to read more of this story, but it gets a no for now.

  5. #5
    ::..VOCABULUS..:: 143's Avatar
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    Re: Jukon - Circles

    I say yes as I am seeing the dullness as being the effects of going around in circles of realizing the reality of their relationship. Clever....


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    Best Topical Writer: 143

 

 

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