Karaoshi - The Gentle Hurricane

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Thread: Karaoshi - The Gentle Hurricane

  1. #1
    SirVent
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    Karaoshi - The Gentle Hurricane

    For all the sweet air that wise old mothers prattle,
    I have found her absence made only my heart
    blow yonder on the wind
    like some wistful flurry of dirt
    across the rust horizon,
    seeking its prayer in an emerald pastor,
    a lass, perhaps yet new to her field,
    and still entwirled in the rush of it,
    still tending to the daisies and cogon
    with water and worry.

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    the theory of cause and effect is flawed,
    we expect the outcome to mirror the struggle, that's wrong.

  2. #2
    Landed Emily's Avatar
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    Re: Karaoshi - The Gentle Hurricane

    Yeah, I like this. When I think of formal poetry and it's devices, something along the lines of this is what comes to mind.
    Although generally it's not my personal cup of tea, I can appreciate the beautiful flowing effect it carries and the polished wording that gives off an atmosphere of higher standards.
    Based on that, I vote

    Yes.


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  3. #3
    ::..VOCABULUS..:: 143's Avatar
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    Re: Karaoshi - The Gentle Hurricane

    Yes for me as one, the use of the vocab defining the edges of the imagery in this and the movement of it feeling of grace and pomp of the old world encapsulate my attention, my wandering. Good shit...


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    Best Topical Writer: 143

  4. #4
    Administrator ILLunatic's Avatar
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    Re: Karaoshi - The Gentle Hurricane

    Not something I would actively seek to read but the emotion and elegance was definitely there. I wish this would have been longer but I guess the short and sweet aspect appeals vastly as much as well.

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  5. #5
    SirVent
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    Re: Karaoshi - The Gentle Hurricane

    Yes

    This poem was simple, yet held so much weight. It was the perfect written for the title he gave it

    - - - Updated - - -

    Nvm realized you already finished these

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    the theory of cause and effect is flawed,
    we expect the outcome to mirror the struggle, that's wrong.

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