YD - Living with OCD

User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: YD - Living with OCD

  1. #1
    SirVent
    Join Date
    Mar 2010
    Location
    Texas
    Age
    28
    Posts
    7,773
    Battle Record
    13-2
    Awards PS Champion Haiku Champion OM HOF PC HOF SOTW
    Accomplishment
    OM HOF
    3x PC HOF
    10x SOTW
    Haiku Champion
    2x PS Champion

    YD - Living with OCD

    I use to count every stair when I walked up the steps
    Only to go back down halfway till the middle of each foot sat on the edges evenly 16 times.
    I would switch the foot I felt like I was leading with when I walked,
    To make sure I didn't take too many steps between the concrete sidewalk squares on either foot.
    When I ran I would sometimes trip and fall,
    Because I felt like was using one leg more than the other and tried to even the strides mid Sprint.
    But she made me slow down.
    She made me forget to count.
    Sometimes I had to double back and count again;
    But some times, on the best days,
    I didn't need to count at all.
    I scrunched my toes between the shadows on the street when the sun was setting,
    Because I felt like I belonged evenly in the sunlight and the darkness.
    I would hum to myself
    I would hum to myself
    I would hum out loud to myself
    Till I felt like I hit all of the cadences equally.
    1...2...3...4...5...6...
    I would pause and start over counting because nothing should go more than 6 seconds without a break.
    But you broke me.
    I went 3 years without a break.
    5 years of being a father and 3 being a husband that never counted unless it was teaching my kids how to count to 10.
    They didn't learn to pause after 6
    Or how to hum to themselves
    Hum to themselves
    Hum quietly or loudly to themselves while they counted or walked down the stairs.
    But I needed a break.
    I needed a break from not needing breaks.
    Because you broke me of my 6 second breaks to make sure life wasn't moving too fast.
    But it did.
    Life passed so quickly I forgot to count or scrunch my toes because I didn't like the shadows as much as the sun
    And when I sang to my daughter I always had the right cadence when I sang the itsy bitsy spider.
    But then she left me.
    And I'm left counting the minutes in 6 second intervals till i'll sing to my daughter again.
    I'm counting the steps to my car as I walked away from the place we lived together for the last time.
    I sleep with my toes scrunched because I'm afraid the sun will remind me of the days I forgot to care about time.
    I hum to myself hum to myself
    HUM OUT LOUD TO MYSELF
    The itsy bitsy spider song because I can't get it or the cadence out of my head.
    I've been broken my whole life,
    But for 5 years as a father and 3 years as a husband I forgot that I was broken
    And it felt good.
    You made me realize that I'm fixable,
    I'm not a lost cause
    I just can't stop thinking or counting or humming because every 6 seconds is 6 seconds I'm spending being broken for 6 more seconds at a time.
    And 6 seconds from now I will have scrunched my toes and hummed to myself getting ready to do it again in another 6 seconds.
    So forgive me for counting every memory every song every picture every morning every dinner and breakfast and lunch and weekend and weekday because,
    I went to remember every single second I ever spent not counting them all.
    Time is man-made, I control it.
    I control every 6 seconds of my life
    If I just keep counting down the time till I can forget to count,
    and can forget to let go of the control that I have,
    so I can get control of the time that I never had.
    You fixed me,
    For 438,000 6 second intervals...
    Just to let me break again.
    So I will never stop counting.
    Because the last time I gave up my 6 second hold on life...
    It went spiraling out of control,
    And counting the number of times I saw it coming
    Didn't do a damn thing to stop it.

  2. #2
    Custom Title Earner Karaoshi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Location
    Paradise
    Posts
    2,279
    Battle Record
    1-3
    Awards PC HOF Haiku Season Champion
    Accomplishment
    3x PC HOF
    Haiku Season Champion

    Re: YD - Living with OCD

    No for me. Too long and rambling. Anything of this length needs a format, stanzas at least, or it just becomes that most disinteresting of things; a wall of text.

    The concept is interesting, the execution is here and there, but the lack of format completely kills it for me.

  3. #3
    Landed Emily's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Posts
    5,482
    Battle Record
    2-2
    Awards MOTM PC HOF
    Accomplishment
    2x PC HOF

    Re: YD - Living with OCD

    I agree with Soul re structure.
    Re rambling not so much. I like the obvious rambles.
    The rambling mindset follows suit with the structure it seems.
    For hof? Artistically it didn't pay off enough for me.


    V

    No
    Last edited by Emily; March 6th, 2017 at 09:43 AM


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.


  4. #4
    ::..VOCABULUS..:: 143's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    The Desert
    Posts
    2,161
    Battle Record
    8-9
    Awards SS Champion PC HOF OM HOF
    Accomplishment
    3x OM HOF
    2x PC HOF
    SS Champion

    Re: YD - Living with OCD

    I say no due to it not being so much as rambling but feeling it being directionless.....A little more focus and it's a yes for me...


    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    Best Topical Writer: 143

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •