Undisputed Written Battles Championship- Mr Elmsby (c) vs Whorticulture

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Thread: Undisputed Written Battles Championship- Mr Elmsby (c) vs Whorticulture

  1. #1
    RUN AWAY! Mr Elmsby's Avatar
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    Undisputed Written Battles Championship- Mr Elmsby (c) vs Whorticulture

    This is for the Undisputed Written Battles Championship, the title that encompasses ALL formed of written battle.

    Introducing first the champion of the LLL, the SS, the FL, the 1-2, and the Golden Gloves... The Great Straight,Mr Elmsby

    Next, the contender via call-out... the Bold Word Battler, Whorticulture.

    There is to be twelve lines and one bonus closing line.
    Before, I was merely The Ultimate Hero and the only true champion. Now, some group of kiddos named AI has accepted me as their idol to be worshiped and revered. But I can still be your hero too.

  2. #2

    Re: Undisputed Written Battles Championship- Mr Elmsby (c) vs Whorticulture

    they call me the bold word battler cuz to talk to who i speak to the way i do you must be bold
    say what you want but watch the way you act cuz it'll make me react and i promise you wont grow old
    ima let you know MR i be on ELM Street BY the way and they all scared of me im a nightmare like freddy
    cruger, no knives im usin my lex luther laymens terms im runnin around with my ruger hauntin these sukkas so u better sleep with your teddy
    i highlight my targets in in bold lettering something similar to battlefield
    dude said he wanted to battle i left his body some where in a field,battle-field
    he said he wanted it drop 12 so i hit him with a dirty dozen
    sawed off 12-gauge pump thats a dirty dozen
    i didnt want the funk but u wanted to get crunk
    so i smiled at you casually walked to the back of my old school and popped the trunk
    hammer and some nails so i stripped you of everythang tittles clothes shit i even took your name
    ill blow ya block up like osama but they can call me young obama around here cuz shits about to change

    - - - Updated - - -

    dam that teddy line was to long

  3. #3
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    Re: Undisputed Written Battles Championship- Mr Elmsby (c) vs Whorticulture

    Boom! it's Mr Elmsby with the thousand thunders
    I speak truths, you speak lie so your speech induces a powerful slumber.

    Your line about the teddy was funny, sorry to break the rules of war, you fooled me more
    you don't suck cock like the other text battlers but I have to say you do so I can break from a draw

    Sorry fella, but even though you can beat most of the bullshit from front lines.
    I beat all of them, twice, I casually cause angst and despair sometimes.

    These little homos sass with no class, jazz with no pizazz, so check it you pissass.
    Facts strumming with zap, Clapton and Frampton with amped gibsons on acid and grass.

    I'm the undisputed champ, I cock the metaphorical gun like FL guns for literal cock
    But now you do too, so your eventual AIDS should not come as a shock.

    For this last line, I'll advise you to not fall into the homotextual traps
    Or you'll think it's gangsta to drop homosexual raps.

    PS- You'll likely be offered a chance to gun for the fake FL title if you show cock. Resist this at all costs!
    Before, I was merely The Ultimate Hero and the only true champion. Now, some group of kiddos named AI has accepted me as their idol to be worshiped and revered. But I can still be your hero too.

  4. #4
    Kill Them All The Villain.'s Avatar
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    Re: Undisputed Written Battles Championship- Mr Elmsby (c) vs Whorticulture

    Vote DJKINGDAVID

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    11x Hall of Fame l 3x Heavyweight Champion

  5. #5
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    Re: Undisputed Written Battles Championship- Mr Elmsby (c) vs Whorticulture

    Quote Originally Posted by Johnny Darko View Post
    Vote DJKINGDAVID
    You tried to be funny. I can tell you giggled a fair bit while posting this, maybe even a little pee escaped. I regret to inform you that it fell flat. It was basically when a man worn down from a rough day at work goes to his local watering hole and asks for a whiskey neat and they get handed back a chewed-on clown nose and are charged double and the clown nose has the male bartender's number.

    His sense of humor about that particular incident, that is about the level of humor you have reached. Even Paula Poundstone wasn't this lame. If you take up comedy as a career or even a hobby, I can promise that you will be raped. Probably on multiple instances. You can bet your last dollar on it, and use the profit on that bet to buy soothing butt cream. You know, because of the rapes.
    Last edited by Mr Elmsby; February 24th, 2017 at 12:05 AM
    Before, I was merely The Ultimate Hero and the only true champion. Now, some group of kiddos named AI has accepted me as their idol to be worshiped and revered. But I can still be your hero too.

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    Re: Undisputed Written Battles Championship- Mr Elmsby (c) vs Whorticulture

    Just mad because that teddy line caught you.

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    11x Hall of Fame l 3x Heavyweight Champion

  7. #7
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    Re: Undisputed Written Battles Championship- Mr Elmsby (c) vs Whorticulture

    That teddy line DID cause me to laugh. I won't even lie.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Not mad if you voted for TV Teddy, just use his actual name. This is the first actual championship match this damn site has seen since before Fresh had his short lived admin status. Which I suspect was revoked because he did something straight.
    Before, I was merely The Ultimate Hero and the only true champion. Now, some group of kiddos named AI has accepted me as their idol to be worshiped and revered. But I can still be your hero too.

  8. #8
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    Re: Undisputed Written Battles Championship- Mr Elmsby (c) vs Whorticulture

    v/ Mr Elmsby

  9. #9
    Name Br&nd παmε's Avatar
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    Re: Undisputed Written Battles Championship- Mr Elmsby (c) vs Whorticulture

    Mr Elmsby got it
    Name Br&nd

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