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Thread: A Real lady

  1. #1
    Banned Rock girl's Avatar
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    A Real lady

    The saddest thing is so many good ladies not notice in the World
    they are taken for granted
    When a guy realize he has a real woman he must decide to set up
    and became a real man... loving, stronger, bold, Faithful,nice
    he gives her his heart
    and never think twice
    and if he's lucky to enough to given her
    he treat it like precious stone
    and never let it never let it go.

  2. #2

    Re: A Real lady

    HOF
    i don't make dance music.

  3. #3
    Super Saiyan Badass Child-Raising Badass's Avatar
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    Re: A Real lady

    Do you speak the same way you type?
    Badass.


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  4. #4
    Banned Rock girl's Avatar
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    Re: A Real lady

    Nah, I just realized errors but I can't edit it

  5. #5
    Super Saiyan Badass Child-Raising Badass's Avatar
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    Re: A Real lady

    Quote Originally Posted by Boss lady View Post
    Nah, I just realized errors but I can't edit it
    I wasnt hating i just imagined you had a cool Caribbean accent
    Badass.


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  6. #6
    Landed Emily's Avatar
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    Re: A Real lady

    The saddest thing is so many good ladies not notice in the World
    The saddest thing is that so many good ladies are not noticed in the world.
    they are taken for granted
    When a guy realize he has a real woman he must decide to set up
    When a guy realises he has a real woman he must decide to set up.
    Btw, what does it mean when someone 'sets up'?

    and became a real man... loving, stronger, bold, Faithful,nice
    he gives her his heart
    and never think twice
    and never thinks twice
    and if he's lucky to enough to given her
    and if he's lucky ...wait...what?
    he treat it like precious stone
    he treats 'it'? or 'her'? like a precious stone
    and never let it never let it go.
    this is easily the best line for me in this poem

    Boss lady, you have to work on a few simple english techniques.
    As someone asked you here, do you speak the way you write?
    Probably not. So why write with mistakes in your drop when its so easy to pm me
    or Jukon or 143, or even just write in here or in pc chat so your work can be edited.
    Take pride in your work and the results will be better than you just dropping some
    unedited version and not caring enough to tag anyone about it.
    I've put in bold some of the corrections you might want to look at.
    There was one sentence that made no sense to me at all.
    And your last line as I said was by far the best imo.

    Keep at it, keep writing, but more importantly, edit before you drop,
    and if you realise you've got mistakes, don't leave them, do something about it
    and fix them, or get someone else to fix them.
    Not doing a thing about it leaves your work looking sloppy and shows you just don't care enough.
    So put the work in and watch yourself grow as a writer.
    Here's hoping you get where I'm coming from.

    Good luck with it.
    Last edited by Emily; January 25th, 2017 at 12:32 AM


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