143 - My Kid is Dying Slowly

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Thread: 143 - My Kid is Dying Slowly

  1. #1
    SirVent
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    143 - My Kid is Dying Slowly

    1 Nomination


    Cries...

    Settling on normality that is vague at best
    Servicing toasted endings like flavorless bacon pieces
    Tasting only the greasing of intellectual properties wrongly processed

    I could never understand how a comment can have several point of views
    I mean would you eat a shish kabob with multiple skewers?
    This is what life is delivering us
    Dine on selected jargon to appease the lesser intelligent
    Consenting to actions playing for the equality of a Call of Duty franchise
    Mind destructing mines

    I hear these cries....

    Tethered to the winds, sailing across a desert of broken glass
    Staining the tips of jagged edges with a matrimony of blood and persistence
    Withering skin graphs to fold beneath the pressures of a social recall
    Checking the voted actions if they are liable to be held to responsibility
    Asking my kid he can breathe

    The cries are now salted with emotion....

    He pauses so that life can make him a mannequin of deafness to social inequality
    Confirming the Vaudeville acts of aggression on common sense and reality
    Playing him close that loose arms are bound to the senseless acts of avatars who perform feats of idiocy
    Wrapping legs in skinny jeans and sagging asses so his flight of fancy to free himself is grounded to the burdensome task of carrying a varied legacy
    Choking him with decisions not yet mastered

    I see behind the tears he's turning blue......

    Not being able to attain the baseline needs from these de-oxygenated websites
    Growing inward to destroy the virus collected through raunchy post of fake asses twerking
    I try to keep him sustained with a scuba tank of love and support
    But the shark tank is constantly selling word of them being out, leaving him to struggle
    I wish that I can reach in to the soul of his battle wrought body, severing the cancer from vital beginnings of his virginal life
    But I too fight demons that came from the advancement of a digital environment that it is easier to be trolled than be educated

    So I turn to a medical field that is depleted with the results of a failed attempt to equalize it.....

    Telling them that my kid is dying slowly......


    @Emily

  2. #2
    Landed Emily's Avatar
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    Re: 143 - My Kid is Dying Slowly

    @Jukon im going to vote on this soon
    i cant see your vote though
    have you voted yet?
    who else have we got to vote on the panel here,
    just you and I?


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  3. #3
    SirVent
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    Re: 143 - My Kid is Dying Slowly

    I haven't voted yet.

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    the theory of cause and effect is flawed,
    we expect the outcome to mirror the struggle, that's wrong.

  4. #4
    Landed Emily's Avatar
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    Re: 143 - My Kid is Dying Slowly

    Quote Originally Posted by Jukon View Post
    I haven't voted yet.
    who else is there?
    I think we need a third person, don't we?


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  5. #5
    SirVent
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    Re: 143 - My Kid is Dying Slowly


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    the theory of cause and effect is flawed,
    we expect the outcome to mirror the struggle, that's wrong.

  6. #6
    Landed Emily's Avatar
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    Re: 143 - My Kid is Dying Slowly

    ok, im conflicted a bit with this one.
    although i think its wording is clever and intelligent, bar the one little typo i noticed (no biggie)
    while reading it a first time i found it a bit wordy and confusing, so im going to have to
    re-read it again and get some clarity on it.

    - - - Updated - - -

    ok, although I like the piece, the fact that I dont love it says a bit about how i feel.
    like i said before, i find the piece intelligent but a little confusing at times.
    i think 143 has some exceptional phrases in this verse but there's so much going on
    I felt lost for thought through some of it, and because of that, I vote no on this particular piece.


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