Why me now?

[Metrics]

Why?


Depression makes the invincible feeble, poking at soft spots with earnest like a heroin needle
Pushing through unseen pain can be lethal, seems all I can do is to carry on for other people

In life there’s always a moment that takes your light, the same moment that makes you fight
Wading in the shallows of the lake of life, we squeeze for unseen juice at the grapes delight

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Me


Solemn and sober I find the silence as enticing as a cracker jack boxes secret decoder
I’m as hollow as October, I can hear my motor building slowly with each moment bolder

Floating in seemingly infinite space, trying gather the strength to defy my imminent fate
I’ll fight and no longer hesitate when I crest the peak, open the gate to this intimate hate

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now!?


Take a seat in the darkness, listen to rain pound the ground with ever growing starkness
Every single time is the hardest and until my soul leaves my carcass, I will push the farthest!





Decided to play with a little topical tonight. Let me know what you guys think




http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...68-Just-typing

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...Been-The-Same)

[Nohbody]

i dont like the long lines, but with your work its not a flow thing, its just the structure. Like, the lines would have read better had you just broken them in half. . outside of that. .

I like the poetic language. Not overly complex, but not too simplistic. . your word choices feel balanced and relevant to the idea at hand.

kind of short, i wish there was a little more meat on the bone here. . but this was an enjoyable yet short read