bitchesbitingdownonsurrealisticpillows

[HighEngineChief]

bitchesbitingdownonsurrealisticpillows



We use to have it new matching kicks out the package use to dip into our mattress fully functioned automatics wrapped in bubble rapping after school and counting up our money backwards spending right down to the Jackson 5 AM toast eggs and scrambled battered faces with cocaine saran wrap round my tongue can’t taste it numb me and Michael dancing on white girls like we’re OJ’s knife on Bandstand I fuck them and he eats breakfast no blessing the food is cancer we’re heading towards a disaster the message I’m sending is there’s no making sense of it after I say it I have to spray it the answer is I’m the greatest hits I’m playing Banjo Kazooie mashing the A it sticks the landing they’re clapping now what the fuck just happened does anyone know what day it is falling off of the face of this planet and landing slam on my morals and crack the code in my basement where I’ll be hacking tomorrow and phishing for someone’s paycheck while I’m updating my status no telling what I might say next to you on a plane snapchatting my dick to Angela Bassett nose diving into a canyon I’m jerking off as we’re crashing into a lake of tits ass and angel lips magic is in the air and we’ve already landed on our own imagination it’s troublesome understanding ourselves with all of this paper distracting us from the way we live hammered and waiting for our new masters to come and break us in clamored around the table with hands out ready to take a pic selfies second helpings of selfishness clean the plate and lick the melting pot until nothing’s left but only the healthiest Nietzsche with a metal fist beating himself to death in his sleep dreaming of the same hell he’s in over and over until forever bleeds out never again






http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...0301-Spoon-Fed
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...-Domestic-Lies

[TheIllyricist]

Snap chatting my dick to Angela Bassett. Alright HEC. You've got me. That's probably the funniest fucking thing I've heard in a week, jesus christ lmao. Funny I was writing for the Poet's Mag and I was putting you in there for best poets on the site. And... Boom. You reappear just like that. I'm reading this and I feel like people aren't going to appreciate it because of the giant block of text that's unusual for this side of the forum. I'm digging this big time because not only is it unique, it's straight up impressive. Look at it long enough you can find the beat even if it's somewhat difficult because of the literal non-stop flow. This almost reminds me something like a Saul Williams slam poetry piece where he just goes on and on with a tremendous piece of written work where you're struggling to find the thread of it but when you do it's extremely rewarding.

There are no punctuation marks in here other than apostrophes. No commas, no periods. I fucking love that dicking around with style because it kind makes sense with this whole style and the title with the whole surrealistic approach. This is like a stream-lined process of thought and the conscience jumping around from one thing to the next thing. Damn near dream-like. That Nietzsche reference in tandem with the same hell of over and over again. Kinda goes with the time is a flat circle. We do this shit over, and over, and over. Thank you True Detective for that depressing piece of philosophy. OJs knife on bandstand... lmao, fucking christ. The imagery is so fucking rich here, I'm feeling the dream like sequences how they don't seem to be abrupt cuts to us from one to the next but all melded into one discordant as fuck symphony.

Good shit HEC, great to see you 'round here again.

[Greedy]

This was nice. Idk how or if I'm leaving proper feed...but this was nice. Kinda swaggy, but feeling this drop tbh. I wanna write more open mics. I'll be checking for ur shit.
I like the spazztic abstract feel to this

[Emily]

Hec, good to have you back. You've written something unique.
This might ruffle some feathers, while bringing a smile to certain faces at the same time.
Those with OCD are going to hunt you down with a knife, wiped approximately twenty two and a half times with Acetone-Free Denatonium Benzoate and they’re gonna stab you in the head.
That’s what this structure might be doing to them.
It was only yesterday when I fed a Self Activate piece, that I started his feed with this sentence...
"...I believe, no matter how a piece is structured, if the rhymes are there, they'll hold the flow."
(And he had a pretty straight forward structure. Not even sure why I felt I had to say that lol)
And in this piece, the rhymes are there, and they did hold the flow, imo.
Even if this wasn't about a dream like state, full of meshing ideas and pictures embedded in our head from yours, even if it was a simple clean cut story, whoever posts with no structure, is gonna get their head kicked in lol. For the main part, this is what I've learnt. I'm in that lot too. I'm a part of it. But I have people like Zen the Dude to thank for letting me out of my small little world and inviting me into a whole new one. One where, there are no rules or boundaries. So screw structure. And while I'm at it, screw full stops. I don't see full stops in my dreams. So why mirror what isn’t, when you can mirror what is? And the only reason I say all this to you, is because you're a great writer that can get away with this type of stuff in a piece with this style of structure. If it didn't work out, I'd probably be saying..."Meh, you could probably do us a favour and chuck a sentence in some sort of format. How about trying a paragraph on for size?"
It's all about that certain piece and how it holds up. Some pieces can't get away with it, some can.
I like this midnight mayhem in this piece. It stretches to the end of imagination and back again, and out, and back, and on and on it goes.The pace is fantastic, picking up speed as it goes, arm in arm of course, by an entire lack of punctuation and disconnected thoughts. And by intrusive images that pop right out of their spot and attack my eyes and mind,

ie:

…me and Michael dancing on white girls like we’re OJ’s knife on Bandstand I fuck them and he eats breakfast…

lol hysterical. I mean, I can see Michael eating breakfast while you’re busy lol. Those ideas are nonsensical and magnificent.

…there’s no making sense of it after I say it I have to spray it the answer is I’m the greatest hits I’m playing …

^^^ You star! Top line. I had to laugh at '...after I say it I have to spray it...' We're in grade five again lol.
And then this bit, '...the answer is I'm the greatest hits I'm playing...' <<< Brilliant wording. Wish I thought of that.

…they’re clapping now what the fuck just happened does anyone know what day it is falling off of the face of this planet and landing slam on my morals and crack the code in my basement where I’ll be hacking tomorrow and phishing for someone’s paycheck while I’m updating my status no telling what I might say next to you on a plane snapchatting my dick to Angela Bassett nose diving into a canyon I’m jerking off as we’re crashing into a lake of tits ass and angel lips magic…

What are you on? Keep taking it. Just wake, eat, and go back to sleep. You’ve got a bit of everything in this dream.
That’s what I like about it, it’s not unlike a real dream. Everything is possible in the weirdest way, and at the time,
it all seems so bloody normal.

…second helpings of selfishness clean the plate and lick the melting pot until nothing’s left but only the healthiest Nietzsche with a metal fist beating himself to death in his sleep dreaming of the same hell he’s in over and over until forever bleeds out never again…

Nice outro. …until nothing’s left but only the healthiest Nietzsche…
…with a metal fist beating himself to death in his dream…
There’s just so much that’s great about this refreshing piece.
You’ve got a roller coaster ride of swirly, topsy turvy r.e.m’s, piggy backing flashes of imagery and wording that doesn’t fit, but you’ve made it fit, and you’ve got that psycho atmosphere down pat too. The one that lingers when you open your eyes.
It leaves an odd vibe when you wake up and say “I just had the weirdest dream.”
This was a wonderfully hazy, pleasingly confusing, piece of work.
I feel like I experienced it.
I think I was a white girl. Jk.
Btw, I loved the title of this piece. It’s a clever title.

A very entertaining piece.
Glad you're here again.
Keep dropping.

Great Read.