SELF ACTIVATE - The story of a kook (1) 0-5

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Thread: SELF ACTIVATE - The story of a kook (1) 0-5

  1. #1
    SirVent
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    SELF ACTIVATE - The story of a kook (1) 0-5

    The Story Of A Kook



    My soul is tired and my bones ache
    Cold lonely nights I spend wide awake
    Going insane with a straight face ...
    Is kind of like solitary confinement
    With no breaks -- prison escapes ...
    Is all I think about, but I'm in no cage
    In a total state of agony, but I feel no pain
    If Doc' diagnosed me crazy today, I'd be OKAY
    I'd watch the pieces fall in place ...
    Then implement change at a slow pace

    Kind of play it by ear ya know?
    It wouldn't be so lonely ...
    If I could hear the ghost ...
    I know that's weird for most
    But I spent 7 years alone ...
    Just because my mirror broke
    So far as spirits go ...
    I try my best to keep ' em close!


    I guess that's schizophrenic tho ...


    But I don't care to live remote
    Or swim around like fish in bowls
    Surviving off a chicken bone ...
    That grants me wishes, gifts, and gold

    Suppose that's superstitious ...



    But I don't really give a DAMN!
    "... can't see the forest for the trees"
    When stranded in the desert sand ...


    Granted I take medicine to focus when I'm scrambblin'
    Readin' body language tryna pass their head exam ...
    .
    .
    I use to have a better plan consisting of a weathered plant
    But it was unreliable, I always use to wake up mad!



    My dignaty's intact tho ...
    This misery's a cash flow
    I scribble on a canvas
    My memories in flash strokes

    My brush feels the energy
    The paint makes it synergy
    Splashes hit the backdrop
    And pain turns to imagery


    Brilliantly
    Chaoticly
    And ...
    Every other
    Honest-'ly',
    I'm obviously intoxicated
    Huffing paint from burning paper
    Vapors fill my studio ...
    I'm dancing in the midnight flame
    My soul for a masterpiece?

    It's seeming like a fair exchange!


    Van Gogh gave his own ear!
    L. Wane lost his whole brain!
    Basquiat sold both veins!


    I'm guessing it's a natural thing¿!?¡


    To sacrifice for art's sake...
    Expressions of a tortured mind
    I pledge my life to heartache
    And pay the price the Devil fines

    --For BEAUTY




    "When Crazy Met Genius!"
    Last edited by Jukon; April 7th, 2016 at 05:09 PM

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    the theory of cause and effect is flawed,
    we expect the outcome to mirror the struggle, that's wrong.

  2. #2
    SirVent
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    Re: SELF ACTIVATE - The story of a kook (1)

    I don't care for the cheesy colors, all the alignment and bull shit like that. It doesn't bring anything to the piece so I find it unnecessary. And it breaks up the flow and reading heavily.

    However, the concept was really cool and i think it was executed the best it could have been. No doubt self is one of the dopest writers on the site but if I put this against Eng's piece, it doesn't cut it. I think self is still trying to find his voice, he knows how to write for sure but I think he gets lost in experimenting with different styles and strays away from the overall story

    So with that said v/no

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    the theory of cause and effect is flawed,
    we expect the outcome to mirror the struggle, that's wrong.

  3. #3
    Landed Emily's Avatar
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    Re: SELF ACTIVATE - The story of a kook (1)

    This is good, no doubt. But I've seen Self write much better pieces than this.
    I don't think this is the one Self should get hof for.
    It's clever but doesn't have the depth for a hof piece.

    v-no


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  4. #4
    Gotta be Tardi Fresh's Avatar
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    Re: SELF ACTIVATE - The story of a kook (1)

    The concept I liked, but I feel I couldn't relate with the psyche that was trying to be relayed here. Interesting read nontheless, and the style it was written in is cool. But I feel like he could have captured the mindset of the character with better imagery.

    vote: no

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  5. #5
    ::..VOCABULUS..:: 143's Avatar
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    Re: SELF ACTIVATE - The story of a kook (1)

    I get it as far it being on the level of it showing more than what's written. I think he did do something that is more modern ish with the structure playing off the topic. I do like the fact that it visually depicts the crazies and the genius of the topic. The topic is more about the second pic than the first even though I get the correlation of the first picture. But when reading it you don't get that with the verse because until you get to the end I have to say you are still trying to guess how the first picture plays into the topic of the verse. Beautiful visually just good technically.

    NO


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    Best Topical Writer: 143

  6. #6
    is Power Nahlidge's Avatar
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    Re: SELF ACTIVATE - The story of a kook (1)

    I thought something was missing from this. It didn't do enough to fully grasp my attention the whole way through. I thought the ending was near brilliant. It got a reaction from me. But the ride there was bumpy. But piece seemed scattered, tho for a reason, it wasn't always for the best.

    Vote - No


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