Late night ramblings

[Laureate]

A view transcends the plane of a mind
which flickers in and out of a possibility. Confusion
decimates control and momentarily fuses
nonsense nonfiction non...no.

smack that picture box into focus

I awake...
rubbing my temples like I'm adjusting
antennas, can see it so clear-
blabbering my babbling ramblings of
unseen dreams-
to unseen fiends.
Piecing together a 3D three piece jigsaw
that for some reason is now 2D, now
black and white and, oh now it's gone.

Can't choose my nightmares and too lazy
to choose my daydreams.
Silence provides a tongue twister as
my breath fights to beat a noise
out of my mouth. Days spent lost trying
to find sheep in a city of wolves so maybe
they'll find me when I need them.

Horizontal but still racing.

Won't speak to tease, or tickle a decision
if I'm so easily swayed by a breeze of
seemingly good ideas, have another round
before the next round tonight it'll help you see
black so they say running on and running along
my sentences conjoined and probably breathless
in the mess I'm left with, just want to shut it off
turn it down, just want to
Focus.

[Emily]

A view transcends the plane of a mind
which flickers in and out of a possibility. Confusion
decimates control and momentarily fuses
nonsense nonfiction non...no.

lol. Um...huh? lol. I had to do a double take.
Your way with words is interesting.
You've got trickery up your sleeve.
Those first two lines are especially nice.

smack that picture box into focus

I awake...
rubbing my temples like I'm adjusting
antennas, can see it so clear- The descriptions are great.
blabbering my babbling ramblings of
unseen dreams-
to unseen fiends.
Piecing together a 3D three piece jigsaw
that for some reason is now 2D, now
black and white and, oh now it's gone. lol that's great. lol. that's really good. I can hear the tone and ...'...oh now it's gone...' LOL, love it.

lol, this was great. I mean, no joke, I had to read it a few times because I'm tired and a bit dense, but then it just popped and
opened up and let me in. And now I'm in, I'm loving where you're going with this hazy situation. I really appreciate the last two lines here. The way you've worded those lines is clever. The natural wording, and the well placed commas were noted.
I like your timing. You put atmosphere in the pictures you paint. Those scrambled nighttime pictures you paint.

Can't choose my nightmares and too lazy
to choose my daydreams.
Silence provides a tongue twister as
my breath fights to beat a noise
out of my mouth. Days spent lost trying
to find sheep in a city of wolves so maybe
they'll find me when I need them. Nice, Laureate. The sleep references and returning to that idea was well done,
in a situation where you're tossing and turning with no nocturnal peace.
These lines...
'...Days spent lost trying
to find sheep in a city of wolves so maybe
they'll find me when I need them...'
I find that beautiful, honest writing.

Horizontal but still racing.

Won't speak to tease, or tickle a decision
if I'm so easily swayed by a breeze of ...
seemingly good ideas, have another round lol. this is great.
before the next round tonight it'll help you see
black so they say running on and running along
my sentences conjoined and probably breathless
in the mess I'm left with, just want to shut it off
turn it down, just want to
Focus.
What an ending.

Nice one. Imo you've got that jumbled up mayhem of midnight madness,
when someone tries to remember whats going on in a dream, but can't place a train of thought, into a clear state.
Instead, one visual, mixes into another, and before you know it, that's normal.
Normal dream state.

This was a cool read. I've read it a few times, and keep getting more images with every read.
My favourite was the outro. Stellar writing right there.
Good to see you dropping Laureate.
This was very interesting. I like the subject matter, and the abstract way you wrote it.
I thought the fit, was fitting lol.
An enjoyable read.
Thank you.

[TheIllyricist]

A view transcends the plane of a mind
which flickers in and out of a possibility. Confusion
decimates control and momentarily fuses
nonsense nonfiction non...no.

smack that picture box into focus

Like how you fucked up with our sense of perception here, beyond the plane of a mind. Incomprehensible, this feels confusing as hell because it should. Way to drag that kind of feeling out of me. So out of focus and strange, you almost got me visualizing television static and smacking the television so the view comes back; old time television style. Don't think I've read enough of you Laureate, but by the list of your resume; you certainly prove HOF quality here.

I awake...
rubbing my temples like I'm adjusting
antennas, can see it so clear-
blabbering my babbling ramblings of
unseen dreams-
to unseen fiends.
Piecing together a 3D three piece jigsaw
that for some reason is now 2D, now
black and white and, oh now it's gone.

And that television display comes back to me again, adjusting your antennas to try and see clearly. Loved the way you kind of traveled back in time there. 3D to 2D, to black and white; gone. No television. It feels like a damning assault on the mass (unmoderated) consumption of trash media that alters the fuck out of our sensibilities.

Can't choose my nightmares and too lazy
to choose my daydreams.
Silence provides a tongue twister as
my breath fights to beat a noise
out of my mouth. Days spent lost trying
to find sheep in a city of wolves so maybe
they'll find me when I need them.

Horizontal but still racing.

Too lazy to choose your daydreams. Hah. Love that. Insomniac feeling from the looking for sheep line; that was a strong piece of writing right there. I'm gonna keep running with the television/insomniac tie. Just keep looking at visualizations on TV, internet, whatever. Media chooses what you should dream for for you, and it chooses your nightmares. Horizontal but still racing? I'd love to hear what you meant by that. Chalking it up to a late night nonsensical thought, and I dig it. I know I'm missing something there.

Won't speak to tease, or tickle a decision
if I'm so easily swayed by a breeze of
seemingly good ideas, have another round
before the next round tonight it'll help you see
black so they say running on and running along
my sentences conjoined and probably breathless
in the mess I'm left with, just want to shut it off
turn it down, just want to
Focus.

Scatter brained as the rest of the feeling that this entire piece gives. Breathless sentences, just rambling and rambling with no stopping. Messy, just like you. You wanna' shut off the noise, shut off the TV, shut off whatever is talking around you that isn't you and begin to find your own words within all that madness. Focus. Simple, apt ending.

I think you can tell by now I rather enjoyed this. Kinda sounds like me late at midnight and I rolled with this and related with it all the way through. Damn talented, Laureate. Thanks for writing and sharing.

[Jukon]

I really like the chaotic nature of this, it really brings the title full circle. I find these pieces, the ones that just flow out and create some abstract box that we are so used to being trapped inside of.

"smack that picture box into focus"

that's probably one of my favorite transitions that i've seen in a while. it shakes the reality and blurs the lines between that and dreams. while that was my favorite transition...

"Can't choose my nightmares and too lazy
to choose my daydreams.
Silence provides a tongue twister as
my breath fights to beat a noise
out of my mouth. Days spent lost trying
to find sheep in a city of wolves so maybe
they'll find me when I need them."

that was my favorite stanza by far. you packed a lot into it, with the first 2 lines and the last 2 lines. a great beginning and an even better ending to it, in my opinion. as a whole, after a couple reads, it was easier to gauge and really capture what you were trying to do. and i'll admit, it took me longer than i thought to get the gist, at least what i got from it. your writing is always crisp, so this off the wall, weird, not mechanical piece was a refreshing thing to see from you. thanks for sharing laur.