reflect

[Jukon]

your thighs painted blue,
scars and bruises
of every hue. the spectrum
fades away,
and now it's only
pale gray.
your face, ghost white
my reflection bleeds through.
mirrored in your eyes,
i see you are my life.

one, two, and three
makes four.
before you walked out,
i'd already closed the door.
as it slammed, i stood in remembrance
of the instances
where you reminded me
that heaven could exist.
and within this moment
i realized

you were never mine.

[Emily]

your thighs painted blue,
scars and bruises
of every hue. the spectrum
fades away,
and now it's only
pale gray.

Nice Jukon. Very, very nice. You've given us a clear picture of her angst.
And how time, doesn't always heal as fast as we'd like.
To me, the colours represent how her anger has turned to sadness.
The blue faded and turned to grey. Grey skies, grey day, grey mood.

your face, ghost white
my reflection bleeds through.
mirrored in your eyes,
i see you are my life.

So...your face is ghost white too. I really like the 'mirrored in your eyes.
'I see you are my life' is so interesting. Her grief and heartache is now your own.

one, two, and three
makes four.
before you walked out,
i'd already closed the door.

Bastard. Yes you did. I like the way you put it.
So she walked huh? Guess she got sick of closed doors.
The honest approach in your writing shows a side to you that I really like.
You bring up all the dirt and scum of mind and you mangle the fuck out of it
and then drop it on paper, and it works beautifully.

as it slammed, i stood in remembrance
of the instances
where you reminded me
that heaven could exist.

I like that she reminded you that heaven 'could' exist.
And the fact that you reflected on that, or, on what might be, is cool.
Maybe she's a dreamer?...maybe you want...a bit of that dream.
Though...I don't know.

and within this moment
i realized

you were never mine.

Great realisation. Hard, harsh ending.
If you've got nothing, you've nothing to loose.

Jukon, I think you're such a talented poet.
You're able to bring out another dimension in your writing and by
doing that, it's never flat. I connect. I feel much the same way.
Funny how we think certain things and will probably never know how
someone else's thoughts 'reflect' our own.
The title was appropriate.
The pace was nice. The flow for me, worked. The theme was dark,
which is entirely loved by me. I like the mindset you've set up here.
I like it all.

Nice talent.
Great Read.

Thank you.

[Sammy]

Just read this now and i LOVED IT! I envy you guys; How you're able to say so much in such little space.
This was such a poignant examination of guilt, Jukon.

your thighs painted blue,
scars and bruises
of every hue. the spectrum
fades away,
and now it's only
pale gray.
your face, ghost white
my reflection bleeds through.
mirrored in your eyes,
i see you are my life.

I must echo Emily's assessment of the first half of that stanza. It was done in such vivid details and use of color palettes to, not only, represent the physical abuse but i love how when the pain fades...she's left with a mundane, lifeless shade of "grey" shell of the person she was. Such a powerful play there, man!

one, two, and three
makes four.
before you walked out,
i'd already closed the door.

I felt in this segment of that second stanza, you're referring to already "checking" out of that relationship. Not sure if this applies to anyone else but sometimes when i'm no longer "invested" in a relationship i become much more introverted and often shut the shutters and blinds. In some ways, i hope she notice and react so i don't have to be the one to make her walk out...despite being the ultimate culprit. That segment speaks lots of truth, at least to me anyway, lol.

as it slammed, i stood in remembrance
of the instances
where you reminded me
that heaven could exist.
and within this moment
i realized

you were never mine.

a bit confused in this last bit. On one hand, the "heaven" line was a very nice and sweet line and something i will likely use in the future lmao! The ending was a bit vague to me. Was she someone else's wife or girlfriend? Or was the "never mine" line alluding to compatibility? And whether you did it on purpose or not, the "never mine" could have easily been a play on "Nevermind" further emphasizing the level of regards he had for her. Regardless, this was a dope verse and enjoyed it very much. write more, man!

[TheIllyricist]

your thighs painted blue,
scars and bruises
of every hue. the spectrum
fades away,
and now it's only
pale gray.

Bruises of abuse both physical and mental. Fading away, but have turned the skin gray. Like she's taken a toll for this all. Wearing thin on her mind and her body. Almost like a defeated ghost, worn out from the beatings. I like the imagery, like it has left her dead not only on the outside but the inside as well.

your face, ghost white
my reflection bleeds through.
mirrored in your eyes,
i see you are my life.

I like that line. Ghost white. A foreshadowing to the ending of this piece as I see it. Ghost white, she's already dead in a way. Dead to you? Dead to herself? Dead inside? Many readings, especially as your reflection bleeds through. That pain is now yours to bear as well. We could even go through a representation here. The pain you've inflicted upon her making her shell of a herself; and now that she's at that point -- the darker reading would be that she's now YOU. It might be HER who does what you did to her to someone else.

one, two, and three
makes four.
before you walked out,
i'd already closed the door.
as it slammed, i stood in remembrance
of the instances
where you reminded me
that heaven could exist.
and within this moment
i realized

'one, and two, and three/makes four'. Curious what you meant by that. But I almost read it as strikes. The number of chances that have been given; all taken for granted or taken advantage of. She finally walked out, but you had closed the doors to any possible closer connection far before that. Such an ugly look at the darker parts of our humanity. Well done, Juke. Noticed the italics on 'could'. Can it anymore? Is that a past potential for existence. But I see the love that was possible. For her, maybe. But to you, the dream was never real.

you were never mine.

As pointed out by this line. Feelings of inadequacy? Not good enough for the dream ending? This is rough shit here. Dark realizations, heavy hitting thoughts.

Great read Jukon, always a pleasure.