Breathe

[143]

My soul text me to tell me how to breathe
As if situation weren't escalated to point where my nose bled evenly
Swollen eyes leaked of liquids of a heave viscosity
Changing periods in my life to apostrophes and semicolons

Through all this, my soul text me how to breathe
Leaving conventional thinking above the toilet at my house balancing on an edge-less toothbrush
Drying the arid streams from a left on blower she loved
Dashing without wisdom, cleaning the crevices from servicing

And the note on my desk was from my soul telling me how to breathe
Even though these grants riddled with clauses traps the intentions in cream glassed jars
Storing the feeling to the point that cryogenics are rendered obsolete
Fathering Father Time's hands to fall off from frostbite

Then my soul yells stop breathing...

She stopped before the Dear John was conceived
Relieved of duty, abandoning her post
I laugh at blue moons as junk yard dogs cuss me out
Violating the quietness once attained in her clutches

And I disappear in whispers of the wind looking for someone to breathe with...



- - - Updated - - -

http://rapbattles.com/showthread.php?489762-Bitter-War&p=8789600&viewfull=1#post8789600

[Emily]

143, your concepts are never conventional. This is no exception. From the intro to the outro, you've come full circle with
the importance of 'breath of life'.
The personification of material objects is quirky and I enjoy the abstract nature you play
with where wording is concerned.
It takes my mind to places it's never been.
A thought that was never stored that way until you made that picture come alive.

"My soul text me to tell me how to breathe..."

"...Changing periods in my life to apostrophes and semicolons ..."

"...Leaving conventional thinking above the toilet at my house balancing on an edge-less toothbrush..."

"...Storing the feeling to the point that cryogenics are rendered obsolete
Fathering Father Time's hands to fall off from frostbite..."

"...Then my soul yells stop breathing..."

"...Violating the quietness once attained in her clutches

And I disappear in whispers of the wind looking for someone to breathe with..."

These are probably my favourite lines.
I think the imagery is strong and the emotional current pulls me under.
I like the 'people need people' aspect of this.

That fact that as emotional beings, we feel, love, breath.
And when that's gone, we die alone.

Nice read 143.

I enjoyed this piece.

[TheIllyricist]

Know your known as Mr. Vocab, and I've read a few more of your works. For this piece, I actually find it refreshing that you're not throwing out a book of words at us that several people might need to grab the dictionary to understand. Having an expansive vocabulary is a wonderful thing, but to me I feel the simplest words fit the structure, rhythm and meaning of our expressions more than the flashy ones. Sometimes a lot of people spit out a dump of massive words that while I read their work I feel it is more to show off rather than having true meaning to the writer. Anyway, random tangent. Back to the task at hand, I found myself vibing to this drop. Personification of the soul was a nice element and added a few layers and potential reading perspectives. The soul could be read as a few different things here, and that's always entertaining. A bittersweet tone, yet positive in the concept of human souls needing another soul to breathe together. Good shit, man.