closed.
closed.
Last edited by spokenoh; January 1st, 2016 at 11:21 AM
can I kick it?
"...My gorgeous ragdoll,
sweat soaked knappy head
let me heal your wounds
in my arms, stitching back
your original look,..."
"...& suddenly you stare at me
as if I'm torn but my child,
you are the one frayed..."
"...with eyeballs sagging,
cluttered remnant of self..."
"...colours fading into fabric
like deja vu but thankfully
you don't remember me."
What a strong, stunning outro spokenoh.
This piece of yours holds lovely atmosphere as if it's in a Victorian time warp.
The descriptions are organic and I can really picture what you've painted.
I love the way you've worded yourself. The emotion is pure but not over the top and
the level of admiration is spectacular, as if you're loving a long lost relative.
I also like the pace of this piece. It has a nice rhythm that doesn't over power the
wording with intricate rhyme patterns of frilly lingo. Just a confident melody that's soft
but confident.
I've quoted my favourite parts. I especially LOVE the outro.
But this poem is a piece of class.
Very nicely done.
Lovely read.
Last edited by Emily; December 18th, 2015 at 01:20 AM
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(Please don't forget your link spokenoh. Just one is needed for December. Thank you.)
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