The Fiend

[Conceptual]

is an insidious individual inhabiting nether realms
telling itself to repel the pain but it never helps
freak played it smooth, high school was hella cool'
soon this mellow dude developed to a feral ghoul
distorted humanoid silhouette flashes under streetlights
as a careless base-head materialize itself at midnight
sick sights, abominations located in grimy dwelling zones
ghettos, hellholes - wherever peddlers are selling dope
base and coke takes a toll, so The Fiend is truly creepy
like a mutant species pestering ordinary human beings
ruined dreams seen trough crude needles, gruesome scene
among poor people, true leaders equals cruel dealers
consuming freedom, enslaving folks by draining The Soul
inhaling fatal smoke, paving roads bound to be amiss
The Way of The Fiend, a vigorous path down to the abyss
can't bounce back from the pit, the creature is trapped
by fact that a lack of smack is wack, reason they sell loads
day The Human decayed was - when it couldn't just say no

[Emily]

Conceptual, sorry this got slept on. Its full of imagery. Your descriptions carry a wonderful atmosphere that continues from line to line and, for me, doesn't let up. Every line tells a story. I thought you did well with this.
I especially liked the way this went out. Very clever last line imo. Also, quite true unfortunately. Well done on the factual fiction lol.
I liked the alliteration in this. And the tone doesn't fall flat because you've got story galore flowing from one sentence to the next.
The only thing I would personally like, is for this to be a bit longer. I enjoyed reading it.

ruined dreams seen trough crude needles, gruesome scene
among poor people, true leaders equals cruel dealers
consuming freedom, enslaving folks by draining The Soul

The Way of The Fiend, a vigorous path down to the abyss
can't bounce back from the pit, the creature is trapped
by fact that a lack of smack is wack

Cool work Conceptual.

Nice talent.