Vibrant

[Fatrick Swayze]

Vibrant
Vibrant darkness, engulfed pupils
Radiant emptiness to the cuticles
Crowded freedom in abundance
The walls distant with redundancy
Consitant hypocracy
The ceilings full of comedy,
Laughter riddled paint chips
Smearing colorless hues
Windows covered in rainbows
Still i soak in the rain poured
Life on repeat. Groundhog symptoms
Waking up to the same old darkness
Wishing for a shade to rest my eyes on
But the soot billows beneath my iris
An eternal blink, sinking between eyelashes
Pupils drenched in black
Hope drowning in the undertow
Countless mirrors holding my relfection
Though i forget who i am
Lost in the translation

But...

With finger tips for a nose
I touch the aromas of the day
The breeze dancing along my hair line
Tingling the roots until my brain waltz'
As i collapse within the rhythm
Tasting the trees
I get tongue tied within the leafs
I know the grass is green
Between the shadows
I know the flowers seed
The subtle whisp of the crowds reverberate
Along the walls of the sky walkers
The city comes alive
And my darkness dances with the sun
And my eyes flutter in the dark
Staring at the sounds...

...wishing i could see it all.








"In our endeavors to recall to memory something long forgotten, we often find ourselves upon the very verge of remembrance, without being able, in the end, to remember."
-Edgar Allen Poe

[graf-x]

i liked this poem -- at first i thought you were writing a bunch of broken thoughts down and trying to find a concept
but as i kept reading i was intrigued by how you placed it all together. the ambiguity is what gave this piece life as it differs from complete thoughts but broken ones trying to capture that memory and feeling you had.

i knew i was in for a treat when i read these lines
With finger tips for a nose
I touch the aromas of the day
The breeze dancing along my hair line
Tingling the roots until my brain waltz'
As i collapse within the rhythm

overall i have to say i enjoyed this more than a little... at first i was like what is going on but as i pieced it all together - i thought it was actually well thought out.

good drop man

[Cody Phoenix]

Oozing with imagery, soundscapes and colorful creativity. The subtlety of this whole thing makes the entire piece come alive, as if I heard this on a street from a ghetto preacher (with bars doe).

[Emily]

Fatt, you bring beauty to the blind just by your first verse. The way you describe it all was really good.
I liked the non-conformity of that verse. It seemed jumbled but at the same time, had a sense of acceptance about it.
It wasn't until I reached the second verse that it all fell into place.
It's amazing how they say that if you want to strengthen one of your senses, take another one away. And this is what I feel
you've done here. You've taken sight away and given us scent in abundance.
But when you took sight away, you replaced it with a substitute/successor, and the relief was surreal.
It filled in every gap taken by sight... in it's place we have surrogate emotions cushioning the blow.

The quote at the end was good too.

I could quote your first stanza.
And then I could quote your second.

I liked this a lot Fatt.

I love the way you write.

Sorry about the late feed, but better late than never.


Beautiful read.