lost in a moment

[Kuhn]

I fell in love in 10th grade
Enslaved by my heart
A freshman with blue eyes and blonde hair played the part.
We had our ups and downs and everything in between,
I was a crip slangin scripts and she was my queen to be.
As we grew older we started to grow distant,
I left the gang life but she's the one who missed it.
I matured into a man and she turned her back on me,
But there's no turn of phrase that could turn the pain from me.
I learned she'd never grow to be the woman that I could love,
So I left her in the past with my former self "the thug".
Childhood was fun I'm still clutching the memory,
I got lost in the moment
She was stuck for a century

[Emily]

Sorry this got slept on YD.

Nice ending in this piece.
I like this and find myself asking if it's a true story.
Your flow is nice. There's always something very smooth-line about your drops YD.
I also like the realness of the wording. I can imagine it would connect with a few who
would have fallen into a situation such as this.
Sad though, for her. Brilliant though, for you.
I like it.

As usual, it's got your quality stamp on it.

Nice job with this little piece YD.

Always cool reading your stuff.

[graf-x]

neat little piece here---- emotion wise i felt your pain here---
the last 2 closing lines really brought closure to your whole piece here which ended with a strong message imo-

what i really enjoyed about this piece - it came off as authentic - like it actually happened and you related to the topic by writing your natural thoughts and feelings down - which i give you props for as this can be difficult for many writers.

overall man good piece ---- i felt emotionally you connected well - creativeness was your ending which was fine because on poems like these being too creative takes away from the genuine emotion. so i felt like for what this poem was - you executed it well and was glad not to feel like this was a made up love story... well done

[Kuhn]

Thank you guys am yes you're both correct, it was a true story about me an my ex