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Thread: dronk

  1. #1
    Ars Longa Vita Brevis English's Avatar
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    dronk

    o! woah is me,
    my grammar suffers like a glass heart
    shot; pumping whisky.

    drunk, because i drank:
    causality's Fortuna's skank
    with a beer of pair goggles.

    i cannot sea but vow to swim
    - and sink in Cytherea's
    primordial soup once a month.

    invoking the Classics'
    supposed to be tacit. fern
    flowers just left me taciturn.

    this cat's got my tongue
    humming where we all begun.

    see, she's the sedulous synthetic surreptitious sediment of seventy-six sacerdotal syncretic sexually sententious sentient (s)entities subjoined since sensory perception began.

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  2. #2
    Buzz Kill graf-x's Avatar
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    Re: dronk

    lol. this was pretty good.

    if you were drunk when you typed this it would still be great cuz it relates back the reader to understand the point of view. if you were not drunk - very well thought lol. overall i enjoyed this and thought it was clever as i went along.

    unsure if i enjoyed the ending to much... i like the fact it was a tongue twister as if the cat actually had your tongue - just unsure what it had to do with being drunk and randomly typing afterword, im unsure-

    overall a good read and i enjoyed the comedy in the piece alone.


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  3. #3
    Landed Emily's Avatar
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    Re: dronk

    o! woah is me, Sir, Old English?, it works with the ironic tone here.
    my grammar suffers like a glass heart I like that personification.
    shot; pumping whisky. lol, that's good.

    drunk, because i drank: LOL
    causality's Fortuna's skank brilliant lol
    with a beer of pair goggles. smart move English.

    i cannot sea but vow to swim
    - and sink in Cytherea's
    primordial soup once a month. How beautiful. That's great.

    invoking the Classics'
    supposed to be tacit. fern
    flowers just left me taciturn. I had to look up the words 'tacit' and 'taciturn' but once I did lol, I loved the
    direction you took. I'm never going to be too embarrassed to say I don't get half the lingo you speak.


    this cat's got my tongue
    humming where we all begun. sweet

    see, she's the sedulous synthetic surreptitious sediment of seventy-six sacerdotal syncretic sexually sententious sentient (s)entities subjoined since sensory perception began.

    mmm, google hates me but I love this ^^^^^^^^. This is divine. Drunk or not, its hot. I deciphered that ridiculous sentence and its delicious.

    I've decided drinking suits you. Dedicate your life to alcoholism and writing.

    Nice English.

    I really enjoyed this.

    Great Read.
    Last edited by Emily; October 15th, 2015 at 02:12 AM


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  4. #4
    SirVent
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    Re: dronk

    Yeah I liked this, clever, a lot of cool ideas and concepts that you executed drunkenly. That word looks weird. The beer of pair goggles was cool, probably a high light really.

    The closer was ironic, fitting, but almost felt out of place, and I'm unsure if that was your intention. Cause I never know what you're gonna do, writing wise. But you never disappoint, good piece Eng

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    the theory of cause and effect is flawed,
    we expect the outcome to mirror the struggle, that's wrong.

  5. #5
    Ars Longa Vita Brevis English's Avatar
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    Re: dronk

    show me some love like I'm Bernie mac

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