FL Magazine: Chill Edition
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Introduction
Sup bitches. Welcome to the next edition of the FL Magazine: Chill Edition. Sit back, relax, spark that spliff and enjoy the shit out of this magazine.
It’s been about the lifespan of a retarded, cancer ridden battle warrior wombat since the last mag, so apologies for that. This is gonna be the big one though, the mother of all magazines, the crème de la crème, the top bud of the plant, the roots of the devil claw. With that being said lets delve into this shit.
Top Battles
Text Battles
@Odd Ways vs @Galactic
This was a decent battle. I feel Odd Ways has more potential then what was displayed here, but he still had a pretty solid drop. Galactic is a solid writer, and you’ve gotta be on you’re a game if you’re planning on taking the dub from this man. Gal ended up taking the win here with a barrage of heavy hitting punches. Let’s take a closer look.
Odd Ways
Galacticur foundation ain't blazin. kid, you couldn't get rough so scram player
ya style ain't rough housing.. more like plasma screen boxes loaded w/ New York Times papers
ya nps are terrible, ur bars are a predicable show, we know what ur bout
so go ahead n use a punch play.. cos the script'll finish w/ me knocking you out
w/ them raps ur like vanilla ice. just another wigga that's on the loose
cos for every Black Thought you pose.. it brings me closer to burying you corpse under The Roots
gal is a friend zone hoe. she wants a dawg like me to bring the hammer
bro you've rode the sideline so long.. you could easily have the HOF revoke Barry Sanders
bitch I'm dope af, every drop rocks the site n leaves the voters jammin
Gal beating me ain't a leap of faith.. its fisher price scooter headed off of the grand canyon
That Randy Johnson punch tho, damnn…Kid gets no girls but he’ll make out when he swings, constantly missin
So I’ll keep on w/ tradition & hang K in the air like Randy Johnson was pitchin
I’m Roastin you dog. When Punch flies he’ll land lathered in gashes
Soon as I accepted this battle they thought “Poor Kay,” so it’s only right I do that w/ ya ashes
Surely a homo. When it comes to girls or guys he’ll choose dick in a flash
Cuz anyone who Rolls w/ the Punches just a fag lookin for a fist in the ass
I don’t show emotion. When I strike to kill, ya solemnly dead
Trust I won’t even Bat an Eyelid. I’ll Swing & collapse ya spinal column instead
You’re an embarrassment. Change ya name back cuz Ill fits w/ Kay right
Ladies & gentlemen, meet the only Punch that couldn’t drop Gal with tips from Ray Rice
@Wordz AhGod. Vs @Greedy$
Another decent battle; not dope, but definitely one of the higher caliber FL battles in the last couple months. It’s funny because Wordz put hella effort into his body bags battle, and ended up losing. Then he put much less effort in this battle and ended up with a better verse, which took him the dub. Funny how not trying or overthinking concepts can sometimes be the recipe for a decent verse. Check it out.
Wordz AhGod.
Greedy$ur careers at its end, 10 shots'll obliterate u but u'll die at 7
I'll hit em with enough torque to drive shaf thru a wall.. even the post op'll look like 9/11.
I'll keep the gun talk for this bitch, u don't know how close ur demise is
n when I blow perfect holes into this pussy, s'cos my OCD won't let the ovarian sizes.
I'll waste this faggot, look real John Wayne Gacy at it, u a known thug?
if anybody warships shafi.. it'll be after they see em get bodied n walk over a pool of his own blood.
my concepts rock w hard rhymes, ur just happy to drop those Marv lines
the way this saboteur archives would have Historian backing his hard drive while lookin for a part time.
ur bitch is shaped like a block of cheese, the laughter left me near dead
cos that bitch got the type of assagai in jail wouldn't even touch w that spear head.
Greedy, act ah god woulda been dope but you stretched the shit out of it like ruining a new shirt.Lol @ you claiming u stack dead presidents, u bang, and ur heater spark
Pfft..that's such an act, AhGod..were just waiting on the pestilence, a plague, and the sea to part
As for ya whore of a b.m?...she a pill poppin lil thot 'n it shows.
Tell me why...this bitch'll hit the Moll' wit me...but u the one that take her shopping fa clothes
If im robbin...' don't try to be a hero, and have that damn tek explode
Niggas'll see more POWS, BANGS,and BOOMS than a Batman episode
This guys a sham. He can't see that he's trash? I don't buy it fam.
Bottom line? He had a harder time with Letters than the one on an eye exam
Fuck his ancient style. I maim shit, ill..leave this dude deformed quick
Have Wordz so unrecognizable..they'll think he was cuneiform script
Text Battle of the Month
@Fresh vs @Letterman
Ok I hate doing a magazine and giving myself love, but I mean damn someone’s gotta show me some love. Nah just kiddin, but this battle was nice imo. Broke Lesnar even said it could be HoF. I put a lot of effort into this battle, because Letterman was self proclaiming himself into the top 5 of FL but didn’t include me on the list, so I had to prove him wrong. Letterman still dropped a nice verse, but it wasn’t enough to overcome the super hot fire that I dropped on him.
Fresh
vs.You think your style stands out, but you’re not dope or even near
And you’re so self-absorbed… it’s only a matter of days before you totally disappear
Time is not on your side, I’ll off you quick so you recognize it’s on mine
n’ If I’m going back four seconds, it’s cos I can dispose of you in that measure of time
We’re on different wave lengths, in fact ur on the seashore just rotting
You ain’t getting this dub, let… Unless u forge a carbon copy of the ether I’m droppin
I disintegrate bitches with intricate wisdom, I’ll be thumpin this kid
Ur not integrate punches… n that’s why you’ll never mesh w/ someone who is
The way you reuse n abuse wack concepts is nothing to be worshipped
So if we ever let this horrendous, s’cos we died after reading one of ya shitty verses
Letterman
I don’t think anyone other than @Smog got Letterman’s ‘purse owner’ wordplay (I’m not going thru the votes to see mothafucka’s). I think that concept was dope, worded a little weird tho and had he formatted it properly coulda been LOTB imo. Well good shit letterman, let me know when you wanna redeem yourself sucka!Bad chicks beg me to smash em, they trashy ones say you can hit
If a chick opened her legs & wanted freshener...that pussy was obviously rancid
If we talk about your talent, that convo will start & end quick
But I don't think we can undervalue your skill...cuz it was never valued to begin with
Fresh one of the best? That claim is see through
It's obvious your tier gassed...and your verses are so bad they should be too
We don't want you in the U.S. so the line that divides us, don't pass it
But if fresh ever crossed the border to interstates, we just hope he gets hit by the traffic
Should change your ways but you'll still be gay & emotional tomorrow, bitch
If we ever see your new persona, faggot you're just letting your boyfriend borrow it
Text Battle of the Month #2
@Packed Graves vs @Greedy$
This battle was pretty dope imo. Both battlers came with it in a close one, but PG ended up putting another L on shafi’s right column of his K/D ratio. Good shit boys.
Packed Graves
Vspussy face facts, the towel must be derailing your vision
hes scared of a beast, so when I say I'm everything Shafir it's not an Israeli religion
my punches will Cover you- but I'd rather let a pistol blow
if your looking for insurance in a battle, it'll be that old man shaking a fishing pole
since you claim to rake in racks, then I'm hosting the steel
to put a new meaning to undercover Boss- when we all know you bag groceries for real
you bombed in the champ match & truthfully your so trash
it's no issue to tower over you, yet you just study how your cousins made those crash
that corny wordplays not bringin any flame to the threads
& with the Generics that you use- could probably pass for some of those Canadian meds
Greedy$
I didn’t get the old man with a fishing pole punch when I voted, but after reading it a few more times and finding out the commercial for the insurance company, I realized that punch was dope as fuck.You pre writing pussy. Prolly spend every day of ur life typing bars
Verses done so ahead of time, they come to the battles in flying cars
Ur gay Arab gimmick failed, considering ur on that faggot shit the most.
And if we wanted to see Pakistan, we'd wait for that galactic kid to post
You a domestic, home decor ass nigga, u living that punk life fam
Type to buy matching end tables, can't afford the set..then say u had a one night stand.
titanium bats leave craniums cracked when lame chumps is hatin'
ill leave you covered in so much blood, Packed. They'll think you just made one with Satan
I got a viscous plot to take ur wife and life when these biscuits pop
I'll dump ur corpse in the Atlantic, City then go and get Lucky in your bitches slot
Newbie Verse of the Month
@Lenox
This kid blew donkey balls when he first arrived here, but after some coaching and putting in work (and losing 20 battles) he’s starting to get the hang of it. I thought Lenox would be a quick visitor, but he’s stuck through it even with everyone takin shots at him in chat. You’re on your way to becoming one of the boys Lenox, not just through Battling but through not being annoying anymore and clowning on other people. Let’s take a look at his first verse with a quotable.
Lenox
That closer was actually pretty cool, which is funny because dude was PMing me telling me how dope his hockey reference bar was. That bar wasn’t a quotable the one you had no idea was good was a quotable lol. It happens to the best of us. Good shit Lenny.Alpha is known for getting bullied in his past, dude is a demented faggot,
One insult I throw at him, he'll take his life quicker than Pyle in Full Metal Jacket,
Says he sells crack but in real life he'd ask me to spare him a buck,
So If I see him dealing with "ice" I'll slice his throat open like Clint Malarchuk,
I must say you come with a fake style, claims he dress like a thug,
You're about as fake as an ID that teens use to get in a club,
I took shots at some of the greatest, now I gotta fight this fucker?
I got long range with the sight like Chris Kyle in a Sniper Bunker,
Alphadog a toddler, I'm bombing and killing kids,
See more people eating dog in battle than Vietnam Villages
Funniest Battle of the Month
@Winning (AKA Chid-Raising Badass) vs @WineO
This battle was awful. Straight garbage juice, that came from the dumpster of a dirty diaper factory (if they existed). Ok winning AKA CRB is a weird fuck, and I’m not sure if he’s a troll or psychotic or just retarded; but either way he sucks ass and should never battle again. Take a look:
Winning
VsWineO...Wine O...Can I get drink...uh-huh..ok...Why No?
Checked in the 6th season...6th..reason?...No sense Im fine though.
Your a bitch in the making...yes..right..right... a build-a-bear puppy
You couldn't been-e Baby... but..but..but your stuffing is soft tuffy
Junior to me Im a God to you chump..chump..marking out.... chump
ur an underground rapper? drink some water as I expose, I cam-holes hump
Moses...Judah...Christian...Krishna...Winning, winning... Im the divine
You can spit bars...but your saliva is nothing...wait for..I make water into wine
Lava goro...zoro...the characters with a Z...believe im bounty now
Your cloud is nine...yes yes yes yes....believe I eat your life for its my cow
WineO
smh.Dude you're losing. Period end of quote prick, yeah i'm being way mean
You'll taste victory, when youtube K. Courics interview with charlie sheen
That's the only way it'll ever happen, quit crying about not being seen
When I say period end of quote, it's him bitching about the one he's having
I'm jeopardizing and boggling his thoughts, renting mansions in his dome
He'd be the monopoly of this shit, if I gave up the spaces I already own
Yo I'm the cock of the walk, the lead of the coop, this guys clearly chicken
But seriously when it comes to hens, you might actually be one of them
I'm raping this fuck in a texual sense, doesn't matter if it's past or present
All I know is at this moment, i'm virtually unwrapping his lack of presence
Honorable Mention
This week’s honorable mention goes to… @Killing Spree
Killing Spree has been working his way up the ladder. Another dude that started off wack, and is slowly progressing and getting better almost battle by battle. This verse he dropped was mediocre, but was about the caliber I’d expect of him at this stage in the game. Since it was a no show there were no votes, so I’ma drop some feedback on it here:
Killing Spree
My beefs leave cold cuts so this fuckin wacks done to me
beef's so choppy, It Boars Heads, & cud be sold for that company
This was decent
Put the shotty on ya clique cos without them u dun flopped
Plus my crew hands ryfe L's & never worked @ a gun shop
This is forced imo. Stryfe can’t truly be dumbed down to ryfe, it just doesn’t work for me. Also ryfe L comes across as ryfELL. That Ell at the end doesn’t sound like rifle. Good attempt tho
Thought u the shit? uppercut'll make u fail bro
First hit'll knock'm out...
2nd concussions from his head hittin his tail bone
This was weak
I'm like Isis wit the knife, this kid'll break & fold up
I'll cut ya head off wit ease just to take the weight off ya shouldas
This had potential but the angle you took ruined it for me. Work on your wording to maximize impact.
Build caskets wit barz, One smack'll leave the kid rattled
Cos U'll never post body bag lyrics, unless you voting on HIS battles
This was decent
Your opener and closer were not bad at all. Your attempt at a name play was straight, unfortunately stryfe is a hard name to play off of so considering that I don’t think it could have been much better. In the future tho, be your own judge and decide if it’s gonna be forced, it can save you from having weak lines in your verses. Good shit tho, you’re progressing nicely.
Punches of the Month
@Odd Ways vs. KnowP
@KnowP vs. Odd WaysWe tagged on NC, but that was my #1 mistake
It's ironic, I came to war w/ full ammo n still spent that battle holdin up a K
@WineO vs Lenoxhoes see know n its go down time, ud scare a dime, guy
if every kiss began with K, lesbianism would be at an all-time high
@Lenox vs alphadogcomparing are skills? there's not a chance that your hurting me..
I got punches that will end Lens so quick you'll think i got lasik eye surgery
@Smog vs KnowPAlphadog a toddler, I'm bombing and killing kids,
See more people eating dog in battle than Vietnam Villages
@Packed Graves vs Greedy$Been on a recent streak of beatin weak comp.. But u act live tho..
Just look at the last couple a battles that know-won...there against people of that title...
@Greedy$ vs. Packed Gravesmy punches will Cover you- but I'd rather let a pistol blow
if your looking for insurance in a battle, it'll be that old man shaking a fishing pole
@Letterman vs. Greedy$titanium bats leave craniums cracked when lame chumps is hatin'
ill leave you covered in so much blood, Packed. They'll think you just made one with Satan
@Greedy$ vs LettermanChicks welcome me in their homes but sidestep your bullshit
Cuz soon as you step on the matador gets slammed in your face quick
@Fresh vs. LettermanIf u don't wanna die young, a nigga better hide from this rifle when it shoots
Or they'll find ya corpse with more holes in it than ur recycling excuse
@Letterman vs. FreshI disintegrate bitches with intricate wisdom, I’ll be thumpin this kid
Ur not integrate punches… n that’s why you’ll never mesh w/ someone who is
@Greedy$ vs GalacticShould change your ways but you'll still be gay & emotional tomorrow, bitch
If we ever see your new persona, faggot you're just letting your boyfriend borrow it
@Galactic vs Greedy$bitch I'm dope af, every drop rocks the site n leaves the voters jammin
Gal beating me ain't a leap of faith.. its fisher price scooter headed off of the grand canyon
Kid gets no girls but he’ll make out when he swings, constantly missin
So I’ll keep on w/ tradition & hang K in the air like Randy Johnson was pitchinConclusionYou’re an embarrassment. Change ya name back cuz Ill fits w/ Kay right
Ladies & gentlemen, meet the only Punch that couldn’t drop Gal with tips from Ray Rice
Ok so that wraps up this edition of FL Magazine. I'd like to give a shout out to @Wordz AhGod. for running all these tourneys in the last while. He's puttin in hella work and deserves a kudos. He just finished the tag team tourney, and immediately jumped into the Alias tourney. So props to that motherfucker for puttin in work. Peace out you bitch ass motherfuckers!
Originally Posted by Noquear
