Satanic Rites Freestyle

[Lenox]

(Satanic Rites Freestyle)
Walking parallel scared in hell as I tear through my apparent cell,
Can barely tell if I'm really there or in a buried shell,
Souls die as we roam through the thrones eyes,
Alone hearing my own cries with no signs of the old times,
Simplicity getting into me physically killing my ability to deliver infantry,
Basically the hate in me is traced to be ancient you'll see,
Breaking free to the aging sea where they're praising me,
Lonely at best as the pole goes through my chest and opens the flesh with holes in my neck,
In my omens no ones a guest, holy at best as ghosts roam in the mesh,
Never predictable, a devilish individual,
When getting miserable it can get physical,
A sick creature, that'll bleach the ill and put your fillings in the freezer,
My mind freezes time unbelievably you'll find,
Creases between the lines, breathing when seeping through rhymes like demons with 33 eyes

[Dkoy]

First 4 lines had a great pace and flow. .. Small gems scattered throughout this piece. The end was a waste after mesh, you just were rhyming. I would like to see you attack a topic, i can see the potential just need to spend a little more time sewing up your material.