She Was Perfect Then

[Wordz AhGod.]

Perfect Then

----
A single violin plays..
as spring waves
through her vile sinned sway
it defiles the atmosphere
this image of magic smeared
by her tragic tears as she traffics near
so beautiful and sad.. a classic steer
from the average dear,
dressed in garments
heartless, with skin so soft and clean
its hard to believe this art is tarnished
as she steps slightly into the light we
politely move aside three
minuet paces, new faces
her blue eyes rarely wonder
a stone wall she is..
with a war that’s raging under
as she reaches the steps
I see her seeping for breath
While she takes mine away
Through the seems of her dress
a step away from the normal
this angry storm of chaos
born from silent cries of the formal
I stand concrete amongst the soil

to watch.. as that is my role..


the princess.. who I so perfectly spoiled
Her nose is red from the blowing hex
exposed to death, the road she chose could set
flames to the open home she left
on the same twisted spiral
her sickness slips through the cracks of dry wall
as her needle marks to these people are
simply put, a feeble art.. of her self expression
an outer beauty to the inner doubt and question
and the make up that runs down her neck when
her soul starves for my attention
my cocaine princess with a morphine sickness
so vile and cold
with stockings made of fishnet
collapsing suddenly I
know that she's ugly inside
and if she loved me then why
would she touch me inside for one night
and say she'll never be happier..
then on the day that she dies..

Links
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...ospital-Part-1
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...63-Dust-Biters

fuck you @ILLunatic and ya links bruhhh

[ILLunatic]

ATTENTION Wordz AhGod.,

This automated notification is a friendly reminder for you to provide (2) links to other member submissions that you left adequate feedback to.

[OG Maestro]

My nigga.

[Emily]

"A single violin plays..
as spring waves
through her vile sinned sway" ----Top intro.

"its hard to believe this art is tarnished
as she steps slightly into the light"

"as she reaches the steps
I see her seeping for breath
While she takes mine away"

"born from silent cries of the formal
I stand concrete amongst the soil

to watch.. as that is my role.."

"an outer beauty to the inner doubt and question
and the make up that runs down her neck when
her soul starves for my attention
my cocaine princess with a morphine sickness
so vile and cold"

Wordz AhGod, these are my favourite bars.
I read this piece a few times and really enjoyed the way you portrayed her.
I also liked the path of reflection you took when describing it all.
Poetic and laced with a floaty air, that helps transition everything and mold it into the clean piece it is.
I love the nature of pretty and ugly words together in the same sentence.
The way they distort the imagery and bend descriptions.
A sweet and sour touch that never has you emotionally landing in one spot.
You did well to write this. I wish you wrote more because I've missed reading your work Wordz.
This could easily have gone into PC, it really has so many poetic devices.
The only thing I picked up, and it's not a biggie but I picked up on it, was this...
You had this stunning outro, especially the way it went out like that, with that last line
(and I really am nit picking here) and you used the same word in close proximity.

"know that she's ugly inside
and if she loved me then why
would she touch me inside for one night..." ---this bar, didn't do it for me.
The word inside. I liked it in the 'know she's ugly inside'
but then that other line, imo, just didn't seem right.
That's the extent of the negative.


Wordz AhGod, I really enjoyed this piece.
I thought it was written beautifully.


Great Read.

Stay put. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.

[Wordz AhGod.]

damn that repeating word.. thats a pet peave of mine too..

*kills self*

[OG Maestro]

damn that repeating word.. thats a pet peave of mine too..

*kills self*

Damn, you turned into boba fatt in a matter of seconds
#sausagefingers

[Wordz AhGod.]

^fuck YOU been at hoe face?

[OG Maestro]

Shiiit, chillin in the clouds, same old same old

We need to get a collab cracking & I never collab, but I got ideas if you in

[Wordz AhGod.]

send em my way.. im not battling or doing anything so I have time.