Topic: liberty, freedom, shadow government, 9'11 truth ect
length: writers discretion
Due: 24 hours from check in
lets have a great battle!!!
Nicasso V Ric Ready [Nic Wins 3 - 0]
Topic: liberty, freedom, shadow government, 9'11 truth ect
length: writers discretion
Due: 24 hours from check in
lets have a great battle!!!
"More often than not I try to justify my service, but rarely I can, all I feel is shame. Racism can no longer mask lust for empire. These where people we were hurting as we engaged in occupation. I feel guilt every time I see an elderly man, like the one that couldn't walk, that I grabbed by the arm and rolled on a stretcher to clear the street. Like the woman that shouted at us we where worst than saddam as we led her husband away for questioning. Like the mother who's three children where born alien in form due to birth defects as a result of depleted uranium shells used in the first gulf war. This woman and her children denied medical care through rigid sanctions imposed upon the nation. We where told we where fighting terrorists when the real terrorists is me and the occupation. The real terrorists are those that are afraid and in that moment allow some to use that fear to violate others. NOT TO MENTION THE REASON WE ARE HERE IS A COMPLETE LIE"
"We must fear those that will not read, awaken and be informed, the ignorant and empty hearted are our true enemy."
-Soldiers name withheld
Are you still sleepy?
I weep deeply for Iraqi children that eat shit weekly,
alien in form born in war torn hell zones
flippin soldiers off with fingers on their elbows,
depleted uranium caught in the tracks of their shell-toes
from fruitless journeys to the hospital the doctor just said no
empty supplies, don't save lives here have this placebo
Is fucking a people up FOREVER a war crime If nobody knows?
this bliss which is ignorance must be ripped from our souls,
ripped from our hearts, torn from our skins'
only then can change truly begin
"terror" is a idea not a war we can win
open ended hatred fueling open ended warfare, in a open ended conflict
that is never gonna end
its not supposed too, false flags give new reasons too fight
promote indifference watch how many lemming sign up by the end of the night
but once the eyes are show they can never un see
Inhumanity is still inhumanity even if it happens over-seas
We Must find the invisible shackles if we can ever be free'
Ric is not anti America, America is anti me
Eric Snowden, snowed-in N.S.A over my shoulder wit cameras watching my flow as I pee
the lobster never knows hes cooking, oh say why cant we see
"Look around today, you cant choose your health care, we are loaded with perpetual debt, our money is worthless, we bomb third world countries that could never possible pose a real threat to us, marijuana is a class a drug when it is a nature substance which heals, our politicians lie and steal get caught and do not get punished, they kill with out warning to promote agenda, fools constantly voting along party lines, bringing the same cowards in to represent us, the ruthlessness and over militarization of police on display in Ferguson and instead of unity race is used to divide and kill the push to come together, if this is it if we can see we need to reboot, throw ya motherfucking T.V out of your window, take your hand raise it in the air form it into a first, and get
mad, that's where we start."
-a message from reality
Freedom
By, Nicasso
Once upon the ocean, there was a great cruise liner.
And on them there stood a girl, who stood out by the diner.
This girl was rich, yes rich!
And yet she was also poor, she had her piles of money,
but was kept behind a locked door..........
She always wished for freedom
But her chance would never be......
Until the waters grew violent, and she was pitched into the sea.
Silently she fell to her doom, the blue swallowed her from sight
The girl soon blacked out, and did not wake till full light.
She came to very slowly, and felt sand beneath her.
She looked ahead to a lush forest,
and wondered what company they were..
She thought she was alone, and crawled into a ball.
She wept to herself there, and for help she did call.
A boy watched from the trees,
unsure of what the girl would do.
But he took pity on her there, for he had been there to.
The boy walked to the girl, and placed a hand on her shoulder.
The girl looked into his masked face, and the fear began to smolder.
“I am Jacob,” he told her.
“Welcome to my island”
“My name is Madeline,” she said
“Born to English lovers in Ireland”
“It is a pleasure to meet you”
Jacob said with much glee
“I’ve not had a visitor here
Since I was one and three”
Madeline looked at the boy
One and six, just like her
She wore a white dress, and he wore shirts of fur.
“I’m pleased to meet you Jake”- Madeline said without dread.
“I really hate to ask this, but do you have a bed?”
Jacob led her to his hut, hidden in the forest deep,
and Madeline lay in his bed where she quickly fell to sleep.
Jacob and Madeline grew close, indeed they feel in love.
But Jacob saw her unhappy
Asking “What is wrong, my dove?”
Madeline shook her head....
“I only miss my homeland, perhaps we could leave here,
and I could take your left hand”.
Jacob then looked with sadness
“I’m sorry I must stay here, but for you to be forgotten,
Is my most greatest fear”
“I shall help you home, along with my memory.
And as long as you have that, you shall always be free.
For weeks they worked together, and on the raft left Madeline.
“Look inside the pack” Jacob said
“When I first become unseen”
Madeline parted with him
“My heart is always yours”
She set sail exclaiming
“I’ll wait at Heaven’s Doors”.....
Soon she was alone and sad
Out with only the fish and birds.
When she could not see the island, she followed Jacob’s words.
Madeline looked inside her pack, and saw that he left a note.
The tears flowed from her freely, as she read what he had wrote:
I don’t know what will happen
I don’t know we’re you’ll go
But I know you have your freedom
Upon the great sea’s thro’s!
hey thanks nicasso again for your participation,....
I sent you a message can you help
this is open for votes, so yeah get at it
let it rise!
Ric - honestly your piece was that bad although the flow wasn't consistent i felt you could've benefited more if you utilized the aspects you touched within the outlines of your drop..the beginning and ending stanzas, if you would have capitalized on those specific points of the piece it would have built a stronger foundation for your drop..okay piece all in all my dude..keep writing.
Nicasso - I felt that your flow was pretty simplistic with the format you chose but it was consistent. you also did a good job bringing the reader into the story with vivid imagery and solid wording. you're piece just seemed more fuller as in beginning middle and ending..i would've like to see more internals and or mulit's but for what you did with the narrative aspect basically made up for that overall i felt you had the more polished piece so therefore my vote goes to
Nicasso.
INKorporated
Fly birdy fly
Originally Posted by Ntalek.
agreed for the most part accept ric really came with more basic writing, not as much vivid imagery...his was more of just like a person talking in first person whereas nicasso was really out there with it.
ric-
from fruitless journeys to the hospital the doctor just said no
empty supplies, don't save lives here have this placebo
Is fucking a people up FOREVER a war crime If nobody knows?
this bliss which is ignorance must be ripped from our souls,
ripped from our hearts, torn from our skins'
only then can change truly begin
really enjoyed these lines here, they got my attention because it related to war crimes and making change. pretty cool I thought.
Nic-
Until the waters grew violent, and she was pitched into the sea.
Silently she fell to her doom, the blue swallowed her from sight
The girl soon blacked out, and did not wake till full light.
She came to very slowly, and felt sand beneath her.
She looked ahead to a lush forest,
and wondered what company they were..
She thought she was alone, and crawled into a ball.
She wept to herself there, and for help she did call.
to me these lines kind of set the tone for the entire piece. really let the reader know whats going on.
so overall I gotta go with nicasso. both not so bad but again nicasso definitely more creative in some aspects and ric creative in others but I was moreso feeling nicassos.
v/Nicasso
@WineO need you to poll that vote
the polls are all messed up they usually don't go through, but, either way, the mods check all the posts and add the votes up. i'll try though
Bottom of the page wow lol
Ric I liked the idea you had, however I fel you failed to execute it properly. I mean the concept was good, and this poiece had potential but it just felt empty, like I was getting anything from it. I felt like there was no reconciliation to tihs, you were just talking about random stuff and not addressing it. Ok read, but def. room for improvement.
Nicc you had a decent verse. I felt you had a much better structure, as there was a begninning middle and end, and you finished this piece as well. By that I mean I didn't leave this feeling like something was missing. Flow was a little meh but regardless you got your point across and finished the piece nicely.
v/Nicc
3 - 0 Nicasso wins.
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