Untitled

[Laureate]

Staring…
blankly at my screen, trying to recreate
the feelings I had oh so long ago, where words
flowed freely onto paper before being copied
onto the screen. I had time to practice scribbles
over that which didn’t fit. Scratching lines left and
right, up and down. Watch me make words
disappear! Or at least unreadable. Drawing over
imperfection in an abstract rage.

Unsure…
if I’m at peace with my decline, feeling naked
and cautious. This whirlwind of emotions
is a dizzying effect of the mind, trapping myself
in a world in which I no longer feel comfortable or even
recognize anymore. Keys clang while my fingers pound
down on unsuspecting symbols.

Posted…
Queue the applause as
letters become words become thoughts thrown
down for all to see. Waiting for a confirmation of
rejection or the gratification of acceptance. How
did I get to this place where I no longer can write
for me. Outside approval ruins my sanctuary, my
escape. I will uncomplicated this. I remember
pen on paper, what a romantic idea.

[Laureate]

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...87-Sing-to-you
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...ide-our-hearts

[memoir]

This was a good write. I enjoyed the description of the writing process you gave & also the description of the emotions of the character ie. the writer. for me the best bit of the piece is the end. 'I remember pen to paper, what a romantic idea' that line alone is fantastic. great piece (are you an alias?)

[Moniker]

Looks like the monthly challenge got you into the vibe to write something. I think this piece is important because it echoes the sentiment of most of us who've been around awhile and found the way back with the site being up again recently. It's an easily relate-able poem man, and I think is something that instigates introspection with a hint of nostalgia. Very dope. I'm obviously not going to try and pick it apart because we've all got some rust, trust that. I would have liked to see a different arrangement though because I think it could have hit even harder if you accented some of the lines with breaks instead of the enjambment, but since it came from the challenge the enjambment makes sense here.

Favorite sections were: 'abstract rage', watch me make words dissapear, the keys clang to the fingers pounding symbols was a nicely done image tied in with smart wordplay that worked well. outside approval ruins my sanctuary was dope also. And ofcourse my favorite of the entire drop was "pen on paper, what a romantic idea."

Glad you dropped old sport. Hope to see you around, even if it's to just shoot the shit and reminisce.

-Mindless

[Laureate]

Yeah there is definitely rust. First drop in like 5 years. Thanks for the feed memoir and Mindless. @memoir not really an alias, just haven't been truly active since 07 or so.

[Ntalek.]

I personally myself loved this piece..i really loved the feeling of loneliness and acceptance that i got from this piece..it made me feel like i did when i came back into writing.. be it on a website or paper or even just in mind..this was a really solid break back into your thoughts typea piece imo..i could feel the honesty behind it as a reader and i didn't have to search for more everything that needed to be said was said and i felt like that was the entire point of this poem..all in all i'd have to just tilt my hat give you a dap and say welcome back Laureate..this was short sweet and dope.

[Emily]

Interesting piece for the writer. Nothing we haven't gone through so seeing it on paper made me smile.
The bit where you're explaining doodling on paper, over words, scratching them and making them disappear hits home.
I enjoyed this piece because I've lived it. Another emotion here and there that I've felt time and time again.
The abstract rage line was cool.

"Posted…
Queue the applause..." .....Something special about this.

"I remember
pen on paper, what a romantic idea." .....Beautiful line. And you're right. It is such a romantic idea, still.

"I will uncomplicated this." ...Maybe without the 'ed' ?

All in all this poem made me reflect, so I connected to it, which is what we're after in a piece, so good on you for that.

I like the theme of this poem. And the frustration you have on show is great.

Keep it up. Good stuff.

(Also, ty for feeding my piece. Appreciated.)

[Soule]

Not as much rust as one would expect. I liked the wording and I liked the way it all flowed off the tongue. Concept isn't much but that's really my only complaint man. I'm glad to see ya back and can't wait for our collab. Check out my new poem.

[English]

this was good. the rumination of a modern meta-poet more familiar with the keys than his ink. i sometimes wish i could take it back to the halcyon days and dust off the quill because something about creating on the computer seems detached for me. it removes a degree of the intimacy of scribbling on the page. putting a line through a faux pas and starting again is replaced by a clinical backspace, and the random scrawling in the margin that float around more concerted efforts, which colour innumerable ledgers, are entirely lost in microsoft word or this editing box. at least i feel like that, sometimes, so i try to carry a pen and pad with me on journeys. moleskin, trusted biro. like i was young again and unconcerned with the trappings of technology. fucking rat-feed culture.

ANYWAY really good run-ons, i think this was for that weekly challenge. very intelligibly expressed sentiment with an adequately artful touch to ensure this wasn't (entirely) prosaic. solid offering. enjoyed the read. certainly the romantic ideal resonated with me, personally. word, thanks.