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Thread: Hard Candy:An Omnipotent Atheneum Collab

  1. #1
    No Longer Topical! Ntalek.'s Avatar
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    Hard Candy:An Omnipotent Atheneum Collab


    Hard Candy:An Omnipotent Atheneum Collab
    Written By: Samajae (1,3), Plexus (2), Dev (4)

    I seen her walking with a big sack on her back,
    just waiting to be kidnapped but perhaps,
    i'll wait till the school ends, before i begin the schooling
    grab her by the roots then leave her toothless,
    is the outcome of my blueprint My intelligence telling me use sense
    Instead of my useless movement. Tying candy to a string
    Fishing for whats in between her legs, seeing through the jeans
    i'm already perverted wishing to touch ones purpose
    beneath the surface of her leggings, thinking is it soft or moist
    and will she let me, without begging How could i pull this off?
    The daddy role as been played stench of bengay across his sock
    tucked in the middle of his wishing pot, deepening thoughts;
    forgive me knots, checks the clock, growing erect as he approached
    the stop, viewing her nipples through her halter top
    simply adoring, i mean the girl is gorgeous, all I seem to think about
    is scoring, the fire and the flames have had my mind scorching,
    supporting the thoughts of mental and physical torture,
    she notices me and thinks i'm also cute as i'm headed towards her.
    I'm ecstatic as she jumps into the back with her baggage
    it's about to happen deep inside i'm actually laughing.



    Its all laid into place with precision, the decision went to ace,
    From the minute that I'm in it pulling it off without a trace,
    this face Alone is like a throne any man would want to take,
    every shot thrown is condoned? Cheers to the naked expose!
    He claims his stake No fighting that it's his, the words grab hold to his car I skip.
    But on the flip in the pleasure of his minds own wit,
    sits a killer ready for a thriller, with a rapists brain on tip!
    We pull away his smile gleams I've perfected this again!
    The rear view mirror tilts as his eyes bleed terror she will never forget!

    As we reach my apartment the neighbor says "I never knew you had a daughter"
    Me either and she's not mine for starters I close the door to decease the argue
    Immediately approached the vodka bottle, pours a shot and takes a swallow
    extends the offer, she's to young; you only live once don't be so hollow
    she's not knowing she's never gonna see tomorrow, instructions followed
    I sat close she leaned forth, in my mind I need more her upright titties lost support
    as I unsnapped her bra, thinking am i moving to fast she grabs my hand and puts it
    on her ass, so I caress it knowing whats next should be the best it has me
    growing an erection I'm knowing all she wanted was to be accepted
    and her easy going earned my trust and acceptance now she's half way naked
    we kiss I close my eyes and my minds blank with one hand behind her back
    she has spiked my drink, I slowly began to fade then blinked that's when she winked.



    The time has arisen for my mind of incisions...
    ...To breach the confines where it's living
    No more killing kittens to practise the Art...
    No more shooting pigeons sitting in my back yard
    With knife in hand I could start, so did, I began
    ignoring the mans tears I removed his ears...
    stuffed 'em in his mouth so if he screamed he'd hear clear
    Next...
    I cut his skin staying near the surface with purpose...
    again and again, a lattice blurred with surplus blood squirts, but...
    First I was nervous, even though i'd rehearsed it inside my person
    But once in my stride the hurting it worsened...
    I wondered... would he survive a kid playing surgeon
    going inside his rib cage without disturbing or bursting...
    any vitals serving my learning, in denial, in a cycle...
    its like I dialed triple 6 and got a guide to homicidal
    And as I spiraled, his cries they went viral
    but as i recited the bible he went kind of quiet,
    a religious man trying it? nah this time he'd died, shit...
    I wasn't finished with this twisted git
    still had syringes filled with piss i wanted to stick 'em with


    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...rough-the-Void
    http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...olen-Footsteps


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  2. #2
    Administrator ILLunatic's Avatar
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    ATTENTION Samajae,

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  3. #3
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    Re: Hard Candy:An Omnipotent Atheneum Collab

    looks good all together, but I didn't even realise it was based on a movie until after it was posted lol
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

  4. #4
    No Longer Topical! Ntalek.'s Avatar
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    Re: Hard Candy:An Omnipotent Atheneum Collab

    Tops..
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  5. #5
    The Legend KnowP's Avatar
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    Re: Hard Candy:An Omnipotent Atheneum Collab

    Samaje (1) - you sick sumama bitch! Why was this soo intriguing. flow was broken near the middle but I still couldnt stop reading cause this shit seemed like a movie setting and you painted the intro perfectly. The unwanted perverted mind set yet his willingness to follow through with it. Adrenaline rush my brutha. Good bars!

    Plexus (2) - pretty strong verse detailing the set up. i havent read a verse from you before but i can tell you arent a rookie to this. every good storying telling skills. would of liked your verse to be a bit longer but i cant blame you for keeping it short.

    Samaje (3) - i see what you did there. lmao. its about to go DOWN! rhyme scheme was broken but story line stayed on point. i actually dug this verse but i can tell your poetic side started to show up. however, good verse setting up the final encounter of the evening. hoes always tryina spike a niggas drink.

    DEV (4) - You are a sick mofo man. Serial Killer at its finest. No complaints or issues with your verse at all bruhh. vocab was great, flow stayed on point, imagery and content never broke stride. def at the height of your game in this verse man. kudos.



    Overall - yall some sick puppies. i truly respect this collab and the concept. never seen anything like this before in OM and yall hit it on the head. some parts here and there needed some editing but for the most part, this was a dope as collab man. i look foward to reading more craziness from you all. Good read!

  6. #6
    No Longer Topical! Ntalek.'s Avatar
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    Re: Hard Candy:An Omnipotent Atheneum Collab

    tops!
    INKorporated

  7. #7
    No Longer Topical! Ntalek.'s Avatar
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    Re: Hard Candy:An Omnipotent Atheneum Collab

    this is my last up..to read or not to read?! i've read quite a few pieces in here and thought i deserved at least a quick feed back..but fk it..this is it..more collabs coming soon!
    INKorporated

  8. #8
    Landed Emily's Avatar
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    Re: Hard Candy:An Omnipotent Atheneum Collab

    This worked so well imo, for a collab. The parts flowed nicely together and that storyline just begs the reader to not take his/her eyes off it. Samajae, you write 'sicko' well. Little dirty details that make all the difference. Like the toothless reference, things like that scare the hell out of me, so good job on that style of writing. The last words of the second last and last lines didn't rhyme but I don't think it took away anything at all because the wording was so spot on, I mean, that internal laughing bit was awesome.
    Plexus, great working with Samagae's bit, nice addition I thought, tied in well and continued the story without breaking the concentration of the reader. "sits a killer ready for a thriller, with a rapists brain on tip!" You've got some top flow and nice rhymes happening in that stanza Plexus. V cool work.
    Samajae, nice work on that third stanza. Bit poetic (only slightly) only because that rhyme had toppled a tad, but it went back on track nicely and once more your descriptions and wording were on point and injected the mood and atmosphere of the piece. Just added more sprinkles to it. Secretly, I'm smiling...I thought men were the spikers, didn't realise women pay back.
    Nice twist in this tale people. V nice twist.
    Love this line: "she has spiked my drink, I slowly began to fade then blinked that's when she winked."
    Dev, you've got that killer knowledge down pat, starting with killing cats and birds and progressing onto bigger and better lol.
    And Dev, that ear reference, love it. So smart. The cutting of the man, being the surgeon and all, was really good. Medical references fell into place nicely. Your flow seems just beautiful. Word choice is great. Rhyme is stunning.

    Guys, this is a top collab. Really, really good. You guys worked the theme really well, shaped it like wet clay.
    It's dark and has all the right elements of what a good, talented, sicko, pervert, killer should be like lol.

    Top Read.
    Last edited by Emily; September 1st, 2014 at 07:04 AM


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  9. #9
    No Longer Topical! Ntalek.'s Avatar
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    Re: Hard Candy:An Omnipotent Atheneum Collab

    Thanks emily...i was thinking of you when i wrote my parts! teheheehe
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