Insight

[Cacktown]

My fact are stated clear
The word I say are dear
It's my nature to run round and be ignorant out here
Why run from anything I been living with no fear
No fear for any peer no need to shed a tear
I look at my surrounding I'm surrounded by wrongkind
But I blend in the backgrund we struggle the same kind
We all in the same boat but we don't got the same mind
They content with what they got
But me fuck it I'm not
Tired of chicken scratch I want the whole damn knot
The root of all evil but the route to living good
But they got it misconscrued in my neighborhood
I write random thoughts so you can feel every word
Or I can speak with intelect so I can really be heard
Something like Ludacris cause the peace I disturb
Now I don't live off instinct thats how you get extincted
Riding in a holey boat until ya ship sizzink
Got a main insight that I'll be alright
Run the the dark with no light
An I don't need no light my ideas so bright
So wise with my eyes on the prize
The main problem is dey can't look me in the eyes
Stop the hate and appreciate you haven't seen your own fate
Try to control what you don't own we call that manipulate
My word have the power to devour and overpower
Either way I still flowing 10,000 barz a hour
Thats the will of insight as it lifts and takes flight
Why I'm in my own world drifting as the pen and paper fight

[ILLunatic]

ATTENTION Cacktown,

This automated notification is a friendly reminder for you to provide (2) links to other member submissions that you left adequate feedback to.

[Cacktown]

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...Pitiful-Pretty
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...the-Eyes-Mic-S

[Cacktown]

Ups for feed

[graf-x]

Alright man not going to lie, im not sure where the content was going - kind of seemed to me as it was going in a few directions but never led to a certain topic.

if that was your intentions and just did this as a free flow - then for that it was decent - but still try to get a storyline down

anyways overall - rather than criticize - ill point out the positives.

I like the realness in this piece - seems like you meant every word you said and for that i believe
this piece was genuinely wrote

definitely room to elevate though as i think you should re-read and work on the grammar
not that its a big deal - but your wording seemed real basic in parts.

like i said though - i like the realness and i hope you stay writing - just hope you incorporate it with a set idea and go away with it relating from start to end.. good job

p.s by basic i dont mean get complex - i just meant it had obvious mistakes and that made the piece seem basic to me.

[Ntalek.]

i think this should've been in OM but this was a piece to be taken for face value..more like a spokenword sort of approach..i felt the emotion through the realism of the piece..your word choice was simple and direct..straight to the point w/o having the reader have to think about anything..as a whole this piece was a cool lil vent about a standing in life and wanting change..i'd stay awe from shizzink type of wording though..you have to be more solid in your descriptive nature as opposed to just filling in the lines with what rhymes..all in all cool drop nothing more nothing less..keep at it my dude.

[English]

you need to probably read and write more because you're lacking fundamentals but either way thanks for sharing!